June 2009 Update....

Wowsers… I have not updated in a long time. Sorry about that. Between working two jobs, t-ball, swimming lessons and everyday life of being a single mother to a very active 6 yr old I have been a bit busy!!

As I mentioned about Carter is taking swimming lessons again. He doesn’t particularly care for swimming lessons. However, I have told him he has to take them till he can swim from one end of the pool to the other end without help and without stopping. His friends and our neighbors Jacob and Tyler have a swimming pool and I don’t want to worry about him while he is down there swimming. Right now Carter is in the Guppy class at the local YMCA.

Carter is also finishing up his last season of T-ball. Next year he will be in coach pitch. Right now in his t-ball league that he is in plays 3 innings. The first inning is with the tee and then the other two are coach pitch to get them ready to move up to the next league. Carter LOVES coach pitch. The coach pitches usually about 8 balls to them and if they don’t get it then they have to bat off the tee. Well Carter has always been able to hit one of the coach pitches and knocks it out past 2nd base most of the time too!!! I think baseball is in his blood from his father and his side of the family. Carter’s last game is next Tuesday. He is already looking forward to next year being on the coach pitch team!!!

My “baby” will be starting tackle football in July. Yes you read that right… tackle football at the age of 6. Actually he could have played tackle football last year when he was 5. Carter is really excited, however I am scared. He is my “baby”… I don’t want him to get hurt. This is when I really wish he had a father figure in his life to guide him and help him. I don’t know a thing about football. One good thing is Carter’s head football coach is going to be Jacob and Tyler’s Dad Ron. They just live a few houses down from us. Carter is always down there playing so he knows Ron really well. Also, Jacob and Carter will be on the same team….. The Steelers!

Now onto me! As you know, Carter is my main focus in my life. I know I should put myself first at times too, but it a hard thing to do when you are a single parent without the support of the other parent. If I am not working one of my two jobs I am either at swimming lessons, t-ball practice or a game. Just because I am a single parent I don't want to limit him on what he can do so I try to play the role of both Mom and Dad and allow him to participate in a variety of sports. Plus, I like to be able to take him places around town. I want him to have the experiences that he would've had if his father and I were still together. He was not the one who choose to be raised by only his mother.

I do struggle with Carter not having a father figure in his life. Carter is always asking me when I am going to get pregnant again and have a baby. He wants a baby sister or brother so bad. I told him well Mommy isn't married and so I can't have a baby without a Daddy. Then in his logic he is always telling me to ask a guy out and then marry him so we can have a baby! Oh how I wish it were just that simple! ;-)

Now I am on a couple online dating sites, but I am the shy type so I am not aggressively looking at all. I think a lot of it is I am scared of getting hurt again. I have dated about 7 or so guys since Dave and I separated. The only real serious once was Michael. He was an amazing guy and I feel terrible still for letting him go. There were just some things that I just couldn’t get past in the relationship, so I ultimately couldn’t fall head of heels in love with the guy. At times I kick myself in the butt and tell myself I was stupid and petty and lost the best guy in the world. Then people tell me well if the feelings weren’t there then you did the right thing…. Don’t settle. So anyways… I am really thinking about taking my profiles off the sites right now because I am so busy with Carter and work that I don't have much time to commit to a dating relationship. I know I need to find myself happiness and that will show through onto Carter's happiness. But, I am not having any luck in the dating field.... so I figured I would put all my focus on my son as he is the light of my life. I will just continue to pray that God drops my perfect soul mate in my lap someday!

Okay I think I have rambled on enough...