2008…. Wow, what a year!
(Warning… this is going to be long)
Well who would have ever thought that 2008 would be such a significant year in my life. You see back in 2007 I though that I was happily married, settled down with my husband and our son. Then in November at the end of ’07 I found him looking else where for love… he said I didn’t make him feel like he was my #1. Well let me tell you he was. He and Carter were my life. Boy how that has changed in ’08! Now I live for my wonderful son and myself. My world no longer revolves around him. I no longer have live with a suspicious mind all the time. Yes I do miss having a family of my own and I do miss that fact that Carter’s dad is no longer involved with his daily life. Carter had a really rough time in the beginning, but he has adjusted well now.
So I filed for divorce and it was granted on June 3, 2008. I officially became a single mom. I was granted child support in the amount of $85 a week. Now that doesn’t even cover half of the daycare, school lunches, sports, clothing, insurance and feeding our son. I sporadically received child support payments… I am again in a dry spell and haven’t gotten a payment since October 6th. So trying to raise a child with out any help has been trying at times, but we again are surviving. Thank goodness I still am living at my parents. I honestly wish that I could afford to move out and for Carter and I to have a place we could call our own. It saddens me every day that I myself can’t provide everything for my son… I do thank the Lord above everyday for giving me my wonderful son… he has saved my life. I also thank him for my parents who provide a roof over our heads and their loving support.
Dave has continued to hop from job to job and living arrangements. As of right now he and Lisa are again separated. Just like the many times before he says it’s for good. He has again gone to Spfld, MO to try OTR truck driving. So far he is sticking with it this time. He says he loves it. It is something he always said he wanted to do. Hopefully now I will start getting child support as soon as he is done with training and gets on their payroll.
I myself am still working two jobs. I still work at General Casualty full time and Lifestar Ambulance part time. There is talk of our Springfield branch office of General Casualty being closed. They have gone to an almost paperless environment and everything is going to image right. They have also been consolidating a lot of the jobs into either home office or regional offices. Slowly all of the jobs are being eliminated. It really scares me… what would I do without the insurance, the amount of time off I get and the pay. I couldn’t go somewhere else and start making what I do here. I could always go to Lifestar full time, but the insurance there sucks… and I would be on shift 24 and off 48. That would be hard being a single mom.
Well I thought I was ready to start getting out there in the dating world. I had already been set up by a joint friend with a wonderful guy who worked for the Illinois Secretary of State office in the IT dept. He had never been married and didn’t have any children of his own. He lived in a nice house in the country by Salisbury that had lots of land. He was just getting out of a long relationship with a girl I think he still loved…I too was just getting out of my marriage… actually was still legally married, so things just didn’t work out with us like I wished they had. So I waited some time and then at the end of July I joined some of the online dating sites. I met a really nice guy on eHarmony. He came from a wonderful family who’s parents were still together. He had a great job that he loves working at IEPA as an environmental engineer and was a manager with a bunch of engineers under him. So, he was able to support himself and had a beautiful house with a pool by Washington Park. Sounds great… a lot of the stuff I am looking for in a relationship. Well, we went on only one date and just as I imagined it all seemed to good to be true and work out for me.
I also met a nice guy on Match.com… his name is Michael. Michael works at Lowes Dept Store, and he lives with his Grandma in her house. We went on our first date on August 6th and went to dinner and a movie. After our first date I just didn’t feel a connection to him at all. I told him that I thought maybe I just wasn’t ready to date. We continued to talk and he is the nicest guy I have met in a long time. He is very thoughtful and caring. So I decided to give it another try! I was really scared to let my guard down and face the possibility of falling in love again. I was also scared by the similarities to Dave. Michael and Dave both came from the same kind of childhoods where neither one of them knew their dads growing up, both were raised mainly by their grandmothers. We have continued to see each other and have even went away for a night to St. Louis to see a Cardinals game. I got the tickets from work and I paid for the hotel down there. Michael drove and paid for the gas. It was a nice getaway! I told him though while down there that I still was leery about our relationship. I told him I was scared of letting him get to close because I was afraid of him getting hurt while I am trying to figure out what it is I want. We continued to see each other occasionally and talk or text daily. So here we are coming up on 5 months and I still feel like I don’t know what it is I exactly want. I am still so afraid of hurting him. I don’t want to continue to lead him on and see him get hurt. He truly is one of the nicest guys I have ever met. Why can’t feel this great connection with him. I thought over time it would happen. What is wrong with me??? I finally let him meet Carter and he treats him wonderfully…. I couldn’t ask for anything better. His Grandmother, Aunt, and Mother all have welcomed Carter and I into their lives with open arms. I don’t want to hurt them either. Maybe it's cause we don't spend a lot of time together... since he works at Lowes he has to work alot of nights and weekends, then he has bowling 2 nights a week, then add me working a second job at Lifestar. Plus the fact that he lives at his Grandmothers house and I live at my parents house still we dont' get much alone time. I don't know... Why can’t I decide what it is that is wrong with me. Why don’t I feel this great connection??? He is a wonderful guy… WHY??? I am so scared that maybe we aren't meant for each other and of hurting him in the end.
Well that is about it for now… Not sure how many people read this as I know some have said they lost the link to it, but if you are still reading thank you for toughing it out and reading this entirely to long of a blog entry. ;-)
I hope ya’ all had a very Merry Christmas (Carter and I did) and have a wonderful New Year!!!
Love to all
Michelle
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
December 3rd update
December 3rd update
Well as Christmas is getting near I am no where near ready. On my December 12th paycheck I should hopefully have a little extra cash and be able to go buy some gifts. I have bought Carter two things so far! So it isn’t like I haven’t gotten anything…. ;-)
I called the child support division and reported Dave’s new employer to them. They told me they will get an order to withhold out to them in the mail within 24 hrs and hopefully in about 30 days I will start receiving support again. I just hope Dave sticks with this job and doesn’t quit…. I know wishful thinking huh. They did tell me that I will get part of his income tax refund when he files for back child support. They are also tacking interest onto his late payments too.!!!!
Carter was sick on Thanksgiving…. He had 103.3 temp. Then I thought he was getting better and then on Sunday night he was coughing so bad and could hardly breathe. I almost took him into the ER. I kept him home from school on Monday and took him to prompt care. The Dr. listened to him and all she could hear was wheezing and so she said he had to have a nebulizer treatment first so that it would hopefully clear him up so she could listen better. He had that for 5 minutes and then she listened again and he has bronchitis plus and ear infection. So he is on an antibiotic plus an inhaler. He slept a lot better last night!
Well that is about it for now.
Well as Christmas is getting near I am no where near ready. On my December 12th paycheck I should hopefully have a little extra cash and be able to go buy some gifts. I have bought Carter two things so far! So it isn’t like I haven’t gotten anything…. ;-)
I called the child support division and reported Dave’s new employer to them. They told me they will get an order to withhold out to them in the mail within 24 hrs and hopefully in about 30 days I will start receiving support again. I just hope Dave sticks with this job and doesn’t quit…. I know wishful thinking huh. They did tell me that I will get part of his income tax refund when he files for back child support. They are also tacking interest onto his late payments too.!!!!
Carter was sick on Thanksgiving…. He had 103.3 temp. Then I thought he was getting better and then on Sunday night he was coughing so bad and could hardly breathe. I almost took him into the ER. I kept him home from school on Monday and took him to prompt care. The Dr. listened to him and all she could hear was wheezing and so she said he had to have a nebulizer treatment first so that it would hopefully clear him up so she could listen better. He had that for 5 minutes and then she listened again and he has bronchitis plus and ear infection. So he is on an antibiotic plus an inhaler. He slept a lot better last night!
Well that is about it for now.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Child Support Issues...
Child Support Issues
Okay well Dave is behind almost $900 in child support for Carter… and the amount grows each week as he is not paying me anything at all. Once it hits $1000 they said they can suspend his driver’s license. I hate for that to have to happen as I know he wants to get into over the road truck driving. But, I need help supporting OUR son. Daycare is $70 a week and if the is out of school for a day then I have to add an additional $15 a day. School lunches are $10 a week. I just signed up for my insurance benefits here at work and the price increased a bunch. Then you add on top of that the sports he is in and food, and clothing… The $85 a week that I am supposed to get doesn’t cover ½ of everything.
So I called the Child Support Enforcement Division. I told them that he is now living in Jacksonville, not sure where. I told them that he is working part time as a fry cook at McDonalds. Oh and that is another thing that ticks me off a bit. He can get a decent job and make good money. Yet, he has chosen to work part time at McDonalds as a fry cook. I am sure that he doesn’t make enough to cover child support for his three child support cases he has got. So I hope and pray that he doesn’t file a petition to get it lowered.
He called me today and told me that he is going to go to Spfld, Mo and try the truck driving school there again. He went there in the beginning of Oct and quit after two days. I told him I couldn’t believe they were even going to let him come back. I asked him why since he told me he hated it there… He said he hates it where he is now even more.
Christmas is going to be really small this year all around.
My father and brother can’t get any of the houses they built to sell so their business is going under. If they end up not selling and going to foreclosure they will also take my parents house as it is collateral for one of the spec houses they built.
The stress of money and things is just really getting to me right now…
Okay well Dave is behind almost $900 in child support for Carter… and the amount grows each week as he is not paying me anything at all. Once it hits $1000 they said they can suspend his driver’s license. I hate for that to have to happen as I know he wants to get into over the road truck driving. But, I need help supporting OUR son. Daycare is $70 a week and if the is out of school for a day then I have to add an additional $15 a day. School lunches are $10 a week. I just signed up for my insurance benefits here at work and the price increased a bunch. Then you add on top of that the sports he is in and food, and clothing… The $85 a week that I am supposed to get doesn’t cover ½ of everything.
So I called the Child Support Enforcement Division. I told them that he is now living in Jacksonville, not sure where. I told them that he is working part time as a fry cook at McDonalds. Oh and that is another thing that ticks me off a bit. He can get a decent job and make good money. Yet, he has chosen to work part time at McDonalds as a fry cook. I am sure that he doesn’t make enough to cover child support for his three child support cases he has got. So I hope and pray that he doesn’t file a petition to get it lowered.
He called me today and told me that he is going to go to Spfld, Mo and try the truck driving school there again. He went there in the beginning of Oct and quit after two days. I told him I couldn’t believe they were even going to let him come back. I asked him why since he told me he hated it there… He said he hates it where he is now even more.
Christmas is going to be really small this year all around.
My father and brother can’t get any of the houses they built to sell so their business is going under. If they end up not selling and going to foreclosure they will also take my parents house as it is collateral for one of the spec houses they built.
The stress of money and things is just really getting to me right now…
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
1 year later...
One year ago today is when Dave and I got into a fight about me wanting to go with him to take the kids back to Jacksonville. He told me he needed more "Me Time" and that he thought we needed a break and for me to go stay at my mom and dads. Little did I know then that he wanted more me time cause he was cheating.
I found out on November 10th that he was cheating on me again. My life crashed right before my eyes. I never thought I would survive...
I did survive though! It took a long time. I still remember to this day where I was the first time I realized I hadn't cried yet that day. That was a huge step for me. It took me weeks to get there. My next goal was to go a week without crying.
Now 1 year later I have found that light at the end of the tunnel and climbed out of that dark hole. I am happier now then I have been in a long time.
Yes I do struggle financially now being a single parent and raising Carter on my own. Dave never sees Carter and hasn't provided child support in over a month. So it is very hard to make ends meet, but still I am happy!! Carter is happy too...
As you all know I have met a wonderful guy that I have been seeing for almost 3 months now. I still am taking things slow and haven't introduced him and Carter to each other yet. I think we will be doing that soon though.... sometime this month for sure.
I found out on November 10th that he was cheating on me again. My life crashed right before my eyes. I never thought I would survive...
I did survive though! It took a long time. I still remember to this day where I was the first time I realized I hadn't cried yet that day. That was a huge step for me. It took me weeks to get there. My next goal was to go a week without crying.
Now 1 year later I have found that light at the end of the tunnel and climbed out of that dark hole. I am happier now then I have been in a long time.
Yes I do struggle financially now being a single parent and raising Carter on my own. Dave never sees Carter and hasn't provided child support in over a month. So it is very hard to make ends meet, but still I am happy!! Carter is happy too...
As you all know I have met a wonderful guy that I have been seeing for almost 3 months now. I still am taking things slow and haven't introduced him and Carter to each other yet. I think we will be doing that soon though.... sometime this month for sure.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
10/15/08 update
Well it's been awhile since I updated everyone and a lot has happened.
So I will start with my date with the other guy that I had first met on the online dating. His name was also Michael. He is 38 and an Environmental Engineer with the IEPA and was a manager with a bunch of engineers under him. He lived in a really nice house over by Washington park. He had been married before, but never had any children. It all seemed really good… the great job, able to support himself, what seemed like a wonderful family life with a sister and his parents still together! Then he started telling me about his ex wife and how she had to have him committed before…. Uh I don't think I want that.
The other Michael and I are still seeing each other. I am just trying to get over the similarities that he has with Dave. From their names… Dave's was David Michael and Michael's is Michael David. Both of them were raised mostly by their Grandmothers and had a rough life growing up. Neither one of them knew who their Dad's were growing up. Dave's knew who his father was, but his mom withheld information from Dave on where his father was and withheld information from Dave's father. We didn't find out where he was at until his Mother told us his obituary was in the Jacksonville paper and that he had passed away. Michael has no interest in knowing who his father is. So… I am still taking things kind of slow and seeing where things go with Michael and I. I am just scared of falling in Love again and getting hurt again. Cause Dave seemed wonderful and really nice in the beginning too.
Okay… well on to what is new with Dave.
Dave either quit his job or got fired about 3 weeks ago. Last week he called me to Decatur to get some of my stuff that I wanted back cause he was leaving Lisa AGAIN. So I left and headed to Decatur…. On my way there he calls and says the cops are there and aren't letting him take anything out of the apt that is over $50. So that meant I couldn’t' get my TV's back or my microwave. I ended up meeting Dave at a grocery store parking lot and loading my van up with all of Dave's clothes and pictures and other stuff that he did take. Dave took his pay by the week car back to the apt so Lisa could have it. I took Dave to a hotel in Springfield to stay the night as the next afternoon he was getting on a bus to go to Spfld, MO to start trucking school. Well that lasted all of two days…. He called me begging for $350 to get his apt back and he quit the trucking thing cause he said he hated it. Well I told him I didn't have the money nor did my parents. I called his Mom Mary and Stepdad Garry and left them a message about his predicament. Well I didn't hear back from Dave at all on that Thursday and he wouldn't return my phone calls and I was worried that maybe he did something stupid like taking his own life. So I called his mom's and talked to Garry. He said that his mom had gotten on him about how old he was and what he was doing with his life. Garry said that he was getting on a bus Wed night and would have been back in Spfld on Thur morning. I said well I assume he is back with Lisa again cause when he is with her he doesn't answer my phone calls or return them. I told Garry that I know we are divorced, but I do still care and worry about Dave. Garry said he didn't know we were divorced…. He thought it was just a trial separation. I said no our divorce has been final since June. He also didn't know Dave and Lisa were still together. I said yes they have been on and off since December. She is a drunk and he keeps leaving her, but always goes back.
On Saturday Dave called me and wanted to know what Carter and I were doing and if we wanted to go with him to Jacksonville to see his Grandma who isn't doing well and he said he needed to find something. I said a job or place to live. He said both. He said that him and Lisa were staying at a hotel and she had written a check for it and it bounced so they were both homeless now. I said what about your apt… he said he lost it. I said what about all your stuff inside… he said it's gone. I said my TV's and everything. He got pissed and said nice to know you are worried more about your TV's then you are me. He hung up telling me that he still loved me. Then on this past Sunday Carter and I went to stepson Michael's football game here is Spfld. I was sitting there next to Tabitha and Becky said I just wanted to let you know that Dave said he was going to come. She said that he has said that many times and never showed up. So I texted Dave and told him that Carter and I were at the game and asked him if he was coming and if he was bringing Lisa. He texted me back and said yep. I texted him again and asked him when he was going to be there… and got no reply. So I packed Carter up and we were leaving. As we were walking back to my van Dave and Lisa were waling up to the game. Dave yelled over at Carter… Carter stopped and asked me who that was. Dave was about 20-30 feet away. I told Carter that is your Dad. Carter said oh Hi and then started walking again. Dave called him over to where he and Lisa were. Carter said to Lisa oh I know you… you are from my old school. Oh I was so pissed… Dave knows very well how I feel about Carter seeing him and his old teacher together… and the fact that she is a drunk and not stable. Ugh… Well I got a text message from Dave that night that said he was sorry about earlier, but he was just so excited to see Carter. I said well you know how I feel about her seeing our son and I was not happy. He then said well Becky invited me… I said yeah she invited you NOT Lisa. That is the last I have heard from him and that was Sunday evening.
UGH… he frustrates me so. I am so glad I stayed strong and never gave into his begging me to take him back. He will never grow up and learn. I supported him for almost 10 years and ruined my credit doing so… I am done. I don't ever want to have a man that I have to support. I want one who can keep a job… and not quit every time he gets mad and says he doesn't like it anymore. I want a man who know how to handle money and not blow if frivolously. I want a man who won't lie to me all the time. I want a man who will never cheat on me. I think I deserve that.. I deserve better then what Dave gave me.
Carter starts Hockey tonight!!!
So I will start with my date with the other guy that I had first met on the online dating. His name was also Michael. He is 38 and an Environmental Engineer with the IEPA and was a manager with a bunch of engineers under him. He lived in a really nice house over by Washington park. He had been married before, but never had any children. It all seemed really good… the great job, able to support himself, what seemed like a wonderful family life with a sister and his parents still together! Then he started telling me about his ex wife and how she had to have him committed before…. Uh I don't think I want that.
The other Michael and I are still seeing each other. I am just trying to get over the similarities that he has with Dave. From their names… Dave's was David Michael and Michael's is Michael David. Both of them were raised mostly by their Grandmothers and had a rough life growing up. Neither one of them knew who their Dad's were growing up. Dave's knew who his father was, but his mom withheld information from Dave on where his father was and withheld information from Dave's father. We didn't find out where he was at until his Mother told us his obituary was in the Jacksonville paper and that he had passed away. Michael has no interest in knowing who his father is. So… I am still taking things kind of slow and seeing where things go with Michael and I. I am just scared of falling in Love again and getting hurt again. Cause Dave seemed wonderful and really nice in the beginning too.
Okay… well on to what is new with Dave.
Dave either quit his job or got fired about 3 weeks ago. Last week he called me to Decatur to get some of my stuff that I wanted back cause he was leaving Lisa AGAIN. So I left and headed to Decatur…. On my way there he calls and says the cops are there and aren't letting him take anything out of the apt that is over $50. So that meant I couldn’t' get my TV's back or my microwave. I ended up meeting Dave at a grocery store parking lot and loading my van up with all of Dave's clothes and pictures and other stuff that he did take. Dave took his pay by the week car back to the apt so Lisa could have it. I took Dave to a hotel in Springfield to stay the night as the next afternoon he was getting on a bus to go to Spfld, MO to start trucking school. Well that lasted all of two days…. He called me begging for $350 to get his apt back and he quit the trucking thing cause he said he hated it. Well I told him I didn't have the money nor did my parents. I called his Mom Mary and Stepdad Garry and left them a message about his predicament. Well I didn't hear back from Dave at all on that Thursday and he wouldn't return my phone calls and I was worried that maybe he did something stupid like taking his own life. So I called his mom's and talked to Garry. He said that his mom had gotten on him about how old he was and what he was doing with his life. Garry said that he was getting on a bus Wed night and would have been back in Spfld on Thur morning. I said well I assume he is back with Lisa again cause when he is with her he doesn't answer my phone calls or return them. I told Garry that I know we are divorced, but I do still care and worry about Dave. Garry said he didn't know we were divorced…. He thought it was just a trial separation. I said no our divorce has been final since June. He also didn't know Dave and Lisa were still together. I said yes they have been on and off since December. She is a drunk and he keeps leaving her, but always goes back.
On Saturday Dave called me and wanted to know what Carter and I were doing and if we wanted to go with him to Jacksonville to see his Grandma who isn't doing well and he said he needed to find something. I said a job or place to live. He said both. He said that him and Lisa were staying at a hotel and she had written a check for it and it bounced so they were both homeless now. I said what about your apt… he said he lost it. I said what about all your stuff inside… he said it's gone. I said my TV's and everything. He got pissed and said nice to know you are worried more about your TV's then you are me. He hung up telling me that he still loved me. Then on this past Sunday Carter and I went to stepson Michael's football game here is Spfld. I was sitting there next to Tabitha and Becky said I just wanted to let you know that Dave said he was going to come. She said that he has said that many times and never showed up. So I texted Dave and told him that Carter and I were at the game and asked him if he was coming and if he was bringing Lisa. He texted me back and said yep. I texted him again and asked him when he was going to be there… and got no reply. So I packed Carter up and we were leaving. As we were walking back to my van Dave and Lisa were waling up to the game. Dave yelled over at Carter… Carter stopped and asked me who that was. Dave was about 20-30 feet away. I told Carter that is your Dad. Carter said oh Hi and then started walking again. Dave called him over to where he and Lisa were. Carter said to Lisa oh I know you… you are from my old school. Oh I was so pissed… Dave knows very well how I feel about Carter seeing him and his old teacher together… and the fact that she is a drunk and not stable. Ugh… Well I got a text message from Dave that night that said he was sorry about earlier, but he was just so excited to see Carter. I said well you know how I feel about her seeing our son and I was not happy. He then said well Becky invited me… I said yeah she invited you NOT Lisa. That is the last I have heard from him and that was Sunday evening.
UGH… he frustrates me so. I am so glad I stayed strong and never gave into his begging me to take him back. He will never grow up and learn. I supported him for almost 10 years and ruined my credit doing so… I am done. I don't ever want to have a man that I have to support. I want one who can keep a job… and not quit every time he gets mad and says he doesn't like it anymore. I want a man who know how to handle money and not blow if frivolously. I want a man who won't lie to me all the time. I want a man who will never cheat on me. I think I deserve that.. I deserve better then what Dave gave me.
Carter starts Hockey tonight!!!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Dating is so confusing…
Dating is so confusing…
Well as all of know I met Michael and we went on our first date on August 6th. After our first date I didn't really feel any connection to him. I thought maybe I was just not ready to date yet. So I ended up telling him I wasn't ready to date yet…. We continued to stay in touch and then I decided to give it another try and not in a date setting so I met him at the bowling alley while he was bowling on his league. It was still awkward, but better I thought. He is super sweet and nice to me…. Something that you all know I am not used to. Well we continued to see each other every once in awhile and this past weekend we went to St. Louis to a ball game. It was nice to get away just the two of us and not have others around… as he lives with his grandma so we haven't really been able to just spend one on one time with each other. So this weekend in St. Louis was nice. However, I am still so confused about things…. I told him I don’t' want to hurt him and I am really scared and not sure exactly what it is I want. I told him that he is the first one I have really dated since my divorce and I don't want to just settle for the first guy that is nice to me. Don't get me wrong he is a good guy and all… But I just feel like I am still missing something.
So… there is another guy that I actually started talking to before Michael. We started talking the very first day I signed up for online dating… he was my very first match!!! He was kind of seeing someone else at the time though and wanted to really see where that relationship was going to go for them. So we just continued to occasionally stay in contact. Well things didn't work out between the two of them and we have decided to meet! I am really excited to meet him…. As we seem to have a lot in common!
Now I have told both of them about the other as I won't lie or hide anything from either one. But, I am so confused as to what it is that I really want… I never knew dating would be so tough and confusing.
Also... can you beleive it has almost been a year since Dave and I seperated. We seperated on November 5, 2007.
Well as all of know I met Michael and we went on our first date on August 6th. After our first date I didn't really feel any connection to him. I thought maybe I was just not ready to date yet. So I ended up telling him I wasn't ready to date yet…. We continued to stay in touch and then I decided to give it another try and not in a date setting so I met him at the bowling alley while he was bowling on his league. It was still awkward, but better I thought. He is super sweet and nice to me…. Something that you all know I am not used to. Well we continued to see each other every once in awhile and this past weekend we went to St. Louis to a ball game. It was nice to get away just the two of us and not have others around… as he lives with his grandma so we haven't really been able to just spend one on one time with each other. So this weekend in St. Louis was nice. However, I am still so confused about things…. I told him I don’t' want to hurt him and I am really scared and not sure exactly what it is I want. I told him that he is the first one I have really dated since my divorce and I don't want to just settle for the first guy that is nice to me. Don't get me wrong he is a good guy and all… But I just feel like I am still missing something.
So… there is another guy that I actually started talking to before Michael. We started talking the very first day I signed up for online dating… he was my very first match!!! He was kind of seeing someone else at the time though and wanted to really see where that relationship was going to go for them. So we just continued to occasionally stay in contact. Well things didn't work out between the two of them and we have decided to meet! I am really excited to meet him…. As we seem to have a lot in common!
Now I have told both of them about the other as I won't lie or hide anything from either one. But, I am so confused as to what it is that I really want… I never knew dating would be so tough and confusing.
Also... can you beleive it has almost been a year since Dave and I seperated. We seperated on November 5, 2007.
Monday, September 22, 2008
New Update...
Well I am sure non of you will be surprised…. Dave is again back with Lisa. I do worry about him because I know she is not stable. He is know talking again about getting into trucking.
Anyways…. About Carter and I !!!
Carter is loving kindergarten!!! I have parent teacher conference with his teacher Mrs. Pickett this Thursday. I am really excited to see how she thinks he is doing. I have signed him up for a divorce support group at his school. He will be grouped with other kids his age! I hope it helps him. I don't think he fully understands the whole thing… and since my parents are still together I have no idea how to explain it to him..
I am still seeing Michael. He still seems really nice. However, I am still so leery of letting my guard down and falling in love again. I don't want to get hurt again… I don't want to be lied to again. I am also afraid of letting him get to close and possibly falling in love with me cause I don’t' want to end up hurting him. I know the pain of losing someone you love. I don't want anyone to ever have to endure that kind of pain and agony.
I did get some free Cardinal tickets to Sunday's game from work for all of my hard work!!! So Michael and I are going to go down there on Saturday and spend some time in St. Louis and then spend the night and go to the game on Sunday!! I am really looking forward to spending this time with him.
Anyways…. About Carter and I !!!
Carter is loving kindergarten!!! I have parent teacher conference with his teacher Mrs. Pickett this Thursday. I am really excited to see how she thinks he is doing. I have signed him up for a divorce support group at his school. He will be grouped with other kids his age! I hope it helps him. I don't think he fully understands the whole thing… and since my parents are still together I have no idea how to explain it to him..
I am still seeing Michael. He still seems really nice. However, I am still so leery of letting my guard down and falling in love again. I don't want to get hurt again… I don't want to be lied to again. I am also afraid of letting him get to close and possibly falling in love with me cause I don’t' want to end up hurting him. I know the pain of losing someone you love. I don't want anyone to ever have to endure that kind of pain and agony.
I did get some free Cardinal tickets to Sunday's game from work for all of my hard work!!! So Michael and I are going to go down there on Saturday and spend some time in St. Louis and then spend the night and go to the game on Sunday!! I am really looking forward to spending this time with him.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Karma...
Well let me start with I was on a date with Michael again this past Saturday we went to dinner first then went and watched his cousin play football, and then went back and rented some movies to watch. I had a really good time!! But while we were sitting watching a movie Dave called to tell Carter goodnight. Well I haven't told Dave that I was seeing anyone…. So when he asked if Carter was around I had to tell him I was on a date and he would have to call home if he wanted to tell Carter goodnight. So then on I believe it was Monday Dave called me and he has had to call the cops on Lisa cause she is going crazy… she said she is going to trash everything in his apt and kill his bird…. She also quit her job that morning cause she said she was better then that. Well then on Tuesday Dave went again to the police dept to file another report and to see how to get her out of his apt. They said he has to file a 5 day eviction notice to get her out since she is refusing to leave. I guess he went back home and she was threatening him that she was going to have someone come over and kill him while he was sleeping. So he once again called the police and filed another report. They told him he needed to get out and go stay with someone or go and get a hotel or they could see if there was a homeless shelter he could stay at. They told him to file an order of protection against her and she will be served with it on Friday and she will have to get out. So he came to Springfield to stay. So for the first time in over 2 months Carter got to see his Dad last night. I took him by the hotel and we stayed for about 30 minutes.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
He THOUGHT the grass was greener
Well Dave thought the grass was greener ont he other side and ventured away from his marraige and his family.
Now he has gotten his truck repo'd. He has collections out the wazzoo.... His lovely girlfriend has already had her car repo'd before they got back together this last time. So they have no trasportation. I do feel for him, but he dug his own hole that he is in now. I bailed him out and helped him stay afloat for 10 years. But get this... he had the nerve to ask me for money to help him and her get his truck back. Ugh... I don't think so.
Now he has gotten his truck repo'd. He has collections out the wazzoo.... His lovely girlfriend has already had her car repo'd before they got back together this last time. So they have no trasportation. I do feel for him, but he dug his own hole that he is in now. I bailed him out and helped him stay afloat for 10 years. But get this... he had the nerve to ask me for money to help him and her get his truck back. Ugh... I don't think so.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Kindergarten and other stuff
Well I have sent my "Baby" off to kindergarten. Yesterday was the first day of school, however it was just a half day. The kindergarteners didn't have to be there until 9 am and the parents had to take them! I took Carter and we went to his classroom and his teacher Mrs. Pickett talked and put on a power point presentation. Then at 9:30 the kids all gathered around the teacher and the parents went to the cafeteria for a meeting with the principal. Then after that we went back to the classroom and picked up our little ones. I then took Carter back to daycare for the rest of the day. Carter loved it!!!! I did good to, I didn't shed a tear. However, today is the first FULL day of kindergarten and the first day for Carter to ride the school bus. Normally I will drop Carter off at daycare at 6:30 am as I have to be at work at 7 am and he will get on the bus at daycare about 7:35 and will also drop him off there after school at 3:30. Today I wanted to get pictures of Carter getting on the bus so I took him to daycare at 7:30 and waited and watched him get on the bus. Last night he was so worried about getting on the wrong bus and forgetting what bus number he was. He did great today…. He didn't shed a tear. Mommy on the other hand held it together until after he got on the bus…. Then I lost it… I cried. He is my "Baby"…. Today can't get over soon enough. I can't wait to pick him up from daycare tonight and find out how his day was at kindergarten!
Dave still hasn't seen Carter since July 11th when I took Carter and dropped him off at McDonalds to see his dad. Dave spent about an hour with him and then brought him back home. Dave didn't even call to see how his first day of kindergarten went. I had Carter call him, but he had to leave a message cause Dave didn't answer his phone.
Carter has started up soccer and t-ball again for the fall. His first t-ball game is this Wednesday, and his first soccer game in this Saturday.
I had a date about a week ago! His name is Michael. He was really nice and super sweet, however I didn't really feel any connection at all with him. I told him I just didn't think I was ready to date. However I have decided to see him once again in a different setting besides a "date setting". So I am going to stop by the bowling alley tonight while he is playing on his league and see him.
Well that is it for now.
Dave still hasn't seen Carter since July 11th when I took Carter and dropped him off at McDonalds to see his dad. Dave spent about an hour with him and then brought him back home. Dave didn't even call to see how his first day of kindergarten went. I had Carter call him, but he had to leave a message cause Dave didn't answer his phone.
Carter has started up soccer and t-ball again for the fall. His first t-ball game is this Wednesday, and his first soccer game in this Saturday.
I had a date about a week ago! His name is Michael. He was really nice and super sweet, however I didn't really feel any connection at all with him. I told him I just didn't think I was ready to date. However I have decided to see him once again in a different setting besides a "date setting". So I am going to stop by the bowling alley tonight while he is playing on his league and see him.
Well that is it for now.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
trying to move on
Why is it so hard for me to move on? Why have I sat at home all weekend and done nothing but think about Dave. I know he isn't good for me so why do I miss him so? I know I need to forgive him in order to move on. How do you forgive someone for ruining your life? Why am I over 8 months into this and still missing him and still trying to get over him. He obviously has moved on and gotten over me cause he has Lisa living with him. She is the one that was Carter's daycare teacher. I bet they get married within 6 months to a year.
I wanna be happy again. I know I have my son and he does make me happy, but I want someone to talk to and to tell them how my day was and for them to do the same. My best friend lives in GA and she is so busy with her husband, kids and being pregnant again she doesn't have the time to talk, plus I think she is getting tired of listening to me.
I don't feel like anyone understands....
I am trying to move one and I just can't get him out of my mind. Why do I miss someone who treated me so bad so much it hurts. Which was worse.... living with him and not trusting him or living with out him and being lonely? I really don't know anymore.
WHY??
I wanna be happy again. I know I have my son and he does make me happy, but I want someone to talk to and to tell them how my day was and for them to do the same. My best friend lives in GA and she is so busy with her husband, kids and being pregnant again she doesn't have the time to talk, plus I think she is getting tired of listening to me.
I don't feel like anyone understands....
I am trying to move one and I just can't get him out of my mind. Why do I miss someone who treated me so bad so much it hurts. Which was worse.... living with him and not trusting him or living with out him and being lonely? I really don't know anymore.
WHY??
Monday, July 14, 2008
And once again...
Well today is Monday July 14th. Dave was supposed to get Carter and Michael on Saturday and I was to pick Carter up in Decatur on Sunday. Well Dave called Saturday and said that he was having truck problems and wouldn't be able to get the kids to stay over night. However he was in Springfield and wated me to bring Carter to McDonalds so he could see him. I had already made plans to work at Lifestar for the night since I thought Carter was going to be at his dad's. So I dropped Carter off at McD's and Dave said he would take him back to my mom and dad.
I sent him a text that Sat night to make sure he made it back to Decatur okay and he said yeah and that he was sleeping... this was early and I thought it was weird that he would already be sleeping.
When I talked to my mom she said that Dave had called to tell Carter goodnight and that she also asked Dave if he made it home okay. He said yes and that his truck is fixed. He said he stopped at auto zone and it was the fuel filter or something like that and that the person there changed it for him since he didn't have the tools. (yeah... whatever)
So anyways... onto today.
I was sitting at Target on my lunch today and I got a the following Text message from Dave.
"Lisa is back around, thought you would want to know."
Now he is just as crazy as she is for continuing to take him back time after time.
I really worry about Carter spending time with them. IT just kills me. UGH,.........
I sent him a text that Sat night to make sure he made it back to Decatur okay and he said yeah and that he was sleeping... this was early and I thought it was weird that he would already be sleeping.
When I talked to my mom she said that Dave had called to tell Carter goodnight and that she also asked Dave if he made it home okay. He said yes and that his truck is fixed. He said he stopped at auto zone and it was the fuel filter or something like that and that the person there changed it for him since he didn't have the tools. (yeah... whatever)
So anyways... onto today.
I was sitting at Target on my lunch today and I got a the following Text message from Dave.
"Lisa is back around, thought you would want to know."
Now he is just as crazy as she is for continuing to take him back time after time.
I really worry about Carter spending time with them. IT just kills me. UGH,.........
Saturday, July 12, 2008
July 12th
Well I guess Dave took Lisa back to the airport on Tuesday or Wednesday. Supposedly she is going back to AZ to marry some guy because he told her that she would never have to work again if she married him. Is she crazy or what?? lol ;-)
I am so relieved that she isn't in Dave's life anymore because that means that she will not be involved in Carter's life. That is what really scared me.
Dave is getting Carter tonight to spend the night with him.
As for me I worked last night at Lifestar and got off this morning around 10 am. Right now Carter is at a friends birthday party. After Dave picks Carter up I am going back into work at 7:30 pm and will get off at 7:30 am tomorrow.
Some people think I am crazy working so much, but I love working on the ambulance. I get paid to drive and ambulance around and help people in thier most desperate time of need. Can you think of anything better then that??? I love it!! Plus the money is nice too! :-)
I am so relieved that she isn't in Dave's life anymore because that means that she will not be involved in Carter's life. That is what really scared me.
Dave is getting Carter tonight to spend the night with him.
As for me I worked last night at Lifestar and got off this morning around 10 am. Right now Carter is at a friends birthday party. After Dave picks Carter up I am going back into work at 7:30 pm and will get off at 7:30 am tomorrow.
Some people think I am crazy working so much, but I love working on the ambulance. I get paid to drive and ambulance around and help people in thier most desperate time of need. Can you think of anything better then that??? I love it!! Plus the money is nice too! :-)
Monday, July 7, 2008
Back at square one...
I am back at square one... the crying the pain. It all sucks.
I know I let myself get close to my ex again. Things were going well. We were getting along great... he has been begging me to take him back for the past 5 months. I was really doubting if I did the right thing by going through with the divorce.
Now this past Thursday he went to go pick up the girl that he was with before... our sons daycare teacher. Now she is living with him again.
Why do I set myself up to get hurt over and over again.
I am such a fool.
I know I let myself get close to my ex again. Things were going well. We were getting along great... he has been begging me to take him back for the past 5 months. I was really doubting if I did the right thing by going through with the divorce.
Now this past Thursday he went to go pick up the girl that he was with before... our sons daycare teacher. Now she is living with him again.
Why do I set myself up to get hurt over and over again.
I am such a fool.
Friday, July 4, 2008
4th of July
Well, I sit here all alone on July 4th remembering how we used to celebrate this holiday as a family. I miss my family, I miss my life.... Oh how I hate holidays now.
I have been officially divorced since June 3rd so a little over a month and it still hurts like heck all the time.
Dave called me last night to tell me he was going to St. Louis to pick Lisa up from the airport. Now Lisa is the woman that used to be Carter's daycare teacher that Dave had lived with for a bit. Well I guess now they must be getting back together. Imagine that... when just two days ago he was telling me that he still wanted me to take him back.
Daily I ask myself if I have done the right thing. Should I have given him another chance??
DIVORCE SUCKS and I HATE being alone on holidays... they are the worst.
I have been officially divorced since June 3rd so a little over a month and it still hurts like heck all the time.
Dave called me last night to tell me he was going to St. Louis to pick Lisa up from the airport. Now Lisa is the woman that used to be Carter's daycare teacher that Dave had lived with for a bit. Well I guess now they must be getting back together. Imagine that... when just two days ago he was telling me that he still wanted me to take him back.
Daily I ask myself if I have done the right thing. Should I have given him another chance??
DIVORCE SUCKS and I HATE being alone on holidays... they are the worst.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Inspirations
Inspirations
Just in a bit of a rambling mood…
On my divorce support online forum the question was asked what or who inspires you… So I have asked myself that question and my answer is CARTER!
Carter my son is what inspires me the most. I love that boy more then I ever thought it would be possible to love anyone. I honestly am scared to wonder where I would be right now if it weren't for him. He is my inspiration that has kept me alive during this divorce process.
Other inspiring people in my life are of course GOD, my parents, the rest of my family and all of my friends whether they are online or real life friends.
Just in a bit of a rambling mood…
On my divorce support online forum the question was asked what or who inspires you… So I have asked myself that question and my answer is CARTER!
Carter my son is what inspires me the most. I love that boy more then I ever thought it would be possible to love anyone. I honestly am scared to wonder where I would be right now if it weren't for him. He is my inspiration that has kept me alive during this divorce process.
Other inspiring people in my life are of course GOD, my parents, the rest of my family and all of my friends whether they are online or real life friends.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Court...
Well I am still married...
The judge would not grant the divorce with the visitation set up the way Dave wanted it. He wanted it to say that visitation would just be agreed upon between us. The judge said there has to be some sort of mandated visitation schedule. We don't have to follow it and can add days to it as we see fit. So my lawyer is drafting up the papers again to change the visitation to what we originally had that Dave wouldn't agree to.
Dave told the judge again that he had a problem with not allowing our son around a boyfriend or girlfriend until said person was in a continuous relationship with them for at least 6 months. Dave stated that if he got a girlfriend and moved in with her in say 3 months would that stop his visitation. The judge said it wouldn't per say stop the visitations, but it would stop the overnight visits. So now it is just no overnights with the new significant other for at least they are together for 6 straight months.
The judge wouldn't grant the first right of refusal either. Which is where if either Dave or I couldn't watch Carter during our period of time with him that we would first have to contact the other parent before we found alternative care. The judge said only if it is going to be longer them 48 hours.
So now we are just waiting on my lawyer to draft up the new papers and mail them to Dave to sign, and them mail them to me to sign before she can resubmit them to the court.
The judge would not grant the divorce with the visitation set up the way Dave wanted it. He wanted it to say that visitation would just be agreed upon between us. The judge said there has to be some sort of mandated visitation schedule. We don't have to follow it and can add days to it as we see fit. So my lawyer is drafting up the papers again to change the visitation to what we originally had that Dave wouldn't agree to.
Dave told the judge again that he had a problem with not allowing our son around a boyfriend or girlfriend until said person was in a continuous relationship with them for at least 6 months. Dave stated that if he got a girlfriend and moved in with her in say 3 months would that stop his visitation. The judge said it wouldn't per say stop the visitations, but it would stop the overnight visits. So now it is just no overnights with the new significant other for at least they are together for 6 straight months.
The judge wouldn't grant the first right of refusal either. Which is where if either Dave or I couldn't watch Carter during our period of time with him that we would first have to contact the other parent before we found alternative care. The judge said only if it is going to be longer them 48 hours.
So now we are just waiting on my lawyer to draft up the new papers and mail them to Dave to sign, and them mail them to me to sign before she can resubmit them to the court.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Court Tomorrow
Well I have court tomorrow at 9 am. I think this is going to be our final court appearance and everything should be final.
It is scary to think that tomorrow I am going to be divorced. It is really sad to think that my hopes and dreams I had for 10 years are really over for good.
I am so nervous.
It is scary to think that tomorrow I am going to be divorced. It is really sad to think that my hopes and dreams I had for 10 years are really over for good.
I am so nervous.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
My head is spinning and I am so SCARED
My head is spinning… And I am so scared.
I have gotten my final court date to finish my divorce. Then it will all be FINAL… Why does that scare the crap out of me? Why do I doubt myself that I am doing the right thing? Yes I do still love him and always will as he is the father of my one and only child.
I won’t get into my whole story again, but for those of you that don’t know it here is my original post about my story. http://www.divorcesupport.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=After&Number=156281&fpart=&PHPSESSID=
Now my Dave is not with any woman and hasn’t been since the end of January beginning of February. He has been nice to me and wanting me back since then. He says he has realized he messed up. However I don’t think I could ever trust him again. A marriage is based on trust… if you don’t have it a marriage won’t survive. In the back of my head I wonder if he just wants me back to help him get back out of debt like I did when we first met, or just want me back till the next girl comes along. Then I think maybe possibly he has learned his lesson this time, maybe he will change. I have come sooo far, do I risk it all again? Another thing he keeps telling me is that I need to stop listening to my friends and family and do what I want to do. My heart is thinking give him another chance. My brain is saying… what, are you a fool, don’t trust him again. I know my family and friends would be let down and hurt them selves if I took him back, but eventually they would stand behind me as it is my life and my decision. They along with all of you have been my support through all of this and they see him for what he really is and don’t have the emotional heart strings attached.
I am so tired of being lonely. I do miss him, but there is a lot I don’t miss. I wonder if I just miss the dream of what I thought we had or could have had. I am so scared that nobody will ever understand me like he did. I am afraid that I won’t find someone to make me happy, make me smile, to make me feel special, needed and wanted. My biggest fear all my life has been being alone. I don’t want to grow old by myself.
I am SCARED.
Michelle
I have gotten my final court date to finish my divorce. Then it will all be FINAL… Why does that scare the crap out of me? Why do I doubt myself that I am doing the right thing? Yes I do still love him and always will as he is the father of my one and only child.
I won’t get into my whole story again, but for those of you that don’t know it here is my original post about my story. http://www.divorcesupport.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=After&Number=156281&fpart=&PHPSESSID=
Now my Dave is not with any woman and hasn’t been since the end of January beginning of February. He has been nice to me and wanting me back since then. He says he has realized he messed up. However I don’t think I could ever trust him again. A marriage is based on trust… if you don’t have it a marriage won’t survive. In the back of my head I wonder if he just wants me back to help him get back out of debt like I did when we first met, or just want me back till the next girl comes along. Then I think maybe possibly he has learned his lesson this time, maybe he will change. I have come sooo far, do I risk it all again? Another thing he keeps telling me is that I need to stop listening to my friends and family and do what I want to do. My heart is thinking give him another chance. My brain is saying… what, are you a fool, don’t trust him again. I know my family and friends would be let down and hurt them selves if I took him back, but eventually they would stand behind me as it is my life and my decision. They along with all of you have been my support through all of this and they see him for what he really is and don’t have the emotional heart strings attached.
I am so tired of being lonely. I do miss him, but there is a lot I don’t miss. I wonder if I just miss the dream of what I thought we had or could have had. I am so scared that nobody will ever understand me like he did. I am afraid that I won’t find someone to make me happy, make me smile, to make me feel special, needed and wanted. My biggest fear all my life has been being alone. I don’t want to grow old by myself.
I am SCARED.
Michelle
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Well what is new with me???
NOTHING!!!!
Isn’t that exciting! lol
Same stuff is still going on, but I will update ya all again!
~ My lawyer has drafted the final papers and is going to be sending them to Dave. We are filing on the grounds of mental cruelty since we haven’t been separated 6 months yet. She said that what he did is definitely grounds for mental cruelty.
~ Dave hasn’t paid me any child support since February 11th. My lawyer has sent him another order of withholding to his new job there at Long John Silvers. Since he is the general manager he is the one who got the order in the mail…. Boy was he pissed.
~ Carter is doing good! He is really getting excited about Kindergarten.
~ Dave is still saying he is wanting me back. However I know he is out on dating web sites looking for women. So he must not want me back that bad. lol
Well that is about it.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.
Michelle
Isn’t that exciting! lol
Same stuff is still going on, but I will update ya all again!
~ My lawyer has drafted the final papers and is going to be sending them to Dave. We are filing on the grounds of mental cruelty since we haven’t been separated 6 months yet. She said that what he did is definitely grounds for mental cruelty.
~ Dave hasn’t paid me any child support since February 11th. My lawyer has sent him another order of withholding to his new job there at Long John Silvers. Since he is the general manager he is the one who got the order in the mail…. Boy was he pissed.
~ Carter is doing good! He is really getting excited about Kindergarten.
~ Dave is still saying he is wanting me back. However I know he is out on dating web sites looking for women. So he must not want me back that bad. lol
Well that is about it.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.
Michelle
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Hello!!!
Well I am sorry it has been about a month since my last update. I know of I think 2 people who do read this blog. So here is your update on Carter, Me and my divorce.
Carter is doing alot better. He finally stopped pooping his pants. Thank goodness!!! It was getting very frustrating.
I am doing really well... I never thought I would get here or get to this place this fast. I still have bad days... and bad dreams. But, they are fewer and farther apart! I could even tell you the last time I cried over this situation. ;-)
Well Dave has gone from living in Taylorville, to living at Lisa's, to staying at a hotel, to know he has an apt in Springfield. He quit his job at Sutton's and him and Lisa were going to be over the road truck drivers for Schneider. Well that didn't work out. Dave finally realized Lisa was a crazy *&%$# and he left her and got what he could out of her house. He had to call the police cause she was acting crazy. I did help him get a hotel and allowed for Carter to stay with him there. Dave stayed at the hotel for about a week and then found an apt in Spfld. He got a job being a manager at Long John Silver, he has his own store in Decatur. He is still working part time at Sutton's... but hasn't gotten called for any hours yet.
It is so nice that Dave is seeing his children again. He has gotten Michael a few times, Tabitha doesn't want to come. He sees Carter quite a bit now!! I think that may have helped with our pooping in our pants situation.
Dave says that he has realized that he messed up... He says he now realizes how good he had it. He says he is going to win me back. He keeps asking me when I will move back in with him. I have told him that I have not gotten the trust back.... and not sure if I ever will. I told him that I am not saying that maybe sometime down the road... maybe years... maybe never... that I may be able to forgive him and get that trust back. But, right now I don't and can't. I will always love him, and always care very deeply about him, but I can not trust him with my heart again. He has broken my heart and my trust more then once and I don't think I will ever mend that trust or my broken heart. He betrayed me... he lied to me... over and over again.
We do talk everyday now and I hope and pray that he doesn't go back to Lisa. I know he will find someone and I hope he does, but I just pray it isn't Lisa.... she isn't good for him or for our son.
Oh... I almost forgot. Dave did talk to Lisa about a week or two ago to see if he could get the rest of his stuff. She said she burned it all. Nice huh.
Well that is about it...
Thank you for reading and please keep in touch.
Michelle
Carter is doing alot better. He finally stopped pooping his pants. Thank goodness!!! It was getting very frustrating.
I am doing really well... I never thought I would get here or get to this place this fast. I still have bad days... and bad dreams. But, they are fewer and farther apart! I could even tell you the last time I cried over this situation. ;-)
Well Dave has gone from living in Taylorville, to living at Lisa's, to staying at a hotel, to know he has an apt in Springfield. He quit his job at Sutton's and him and Lisa were going to be over the road truck drivers for Schneider. Well that didn't work out. Dave finally realized Lisa was a crazy *&%$# and he left her and got what he could out of her house. He had to call the police cause she was acting crazy. I did help him get a hotel and allowed for Carter to stay with him there. Dave stayed at the hotel for about a week and then found an apt in Spfld. He got a job being a manager at Long John Silver, he has his own store in Decatur. He is still working part time at Sutton's... but hasn't gotten called for any hours yet.
It is so nice that Dave is seeing his children again. He has gotten Michael a few times, Tabitha doesn't want to come. He sees Carter quite a bit now!! I think that may have helped with our pooping in our pants situation.
Dave says that he has realized that he messed up... He says he now realizes how good he had it. He says he is going to win me back. He keeps asking me when I will move back in with him. I have told him that I have not gotten the trust back.... and not sure if I ever will. I told him that I am not saying that maybe sometime down the road... maybe years... maybe never... that I may be able to forgive him and get that trust back. But, right now I don't and can't. I will always love him, and always care very deeply about him, but I can not trust him with my heart again. He has broken my heart and my trust more then once and I don't think I will ever mend that trust or my broken heart. He betrayed me... he lied to me... over and over again.
We do talk everyday now and I hope and pray that he doesn't go back to Lisa. I know he will find someone and I hope he does, but I just pray it isn't Lisa.... she isn't good for him or for our son.
Oh... I almost forgot. Dave did talk to Lisa about a week or two ago to see if he could get the rest of his stuff. She said she burned it all. Nice huh.
Well that is about it...
Thank you for reading and please keep in touch.
Michelle
Monday, January 28, 2008
update
Okay I have been really busy so I have just copied and pasted what I keep in my divorce calendar on here.
Carter and I did fly out to Atlanta to see my best friend and her kids and husband last week. It was really nice. I needed the little get away.
So here is the latest in my divorce....
Smith vs Smith
1Tue
Dave called and wanted Carter and I to come over for dinner. I needed to have him sign a check so we drove to Taylorville for dinner. We had dinner and were just sitting around enjoying the time together. Lisa called three times. Dave was talking to her and telling her I was outside with the dog when I was actually sitting on the couch. She was wanting to come over. She told him that we (Carter and I) needed to get out of thier house. I could tell Dave wanted us to leave so Carter and I left. Dave said he didn't think she was going to come over. Well as I was leaving she drove past me. So I turned around and pulled back into his driveway behind her. I asked her what she had to say. She said nothing. I said so everything I told CJ was a lie and she said no. I said so everything you told CJ was a lie and she said yes... they have been dating. I said you told me your brother was a minister and what Dave was doing was adultry and wrong. I said so what you are doing isn't adultry and wrong. She said well you guys are getting a divorce. I called her a few expicit names and was walking away when Carter got out of the van. I said look who is at Daddy's house. Carter said hi to his teacher and we left.
2Wed
Lisa didn't show up for work at Pleasant Run... supposedly quit or got fired.
Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.
3Thu
Dave did not get Carter. Dave moved Lisa into his house.
4Fri
Dave called at 8:39 to tell Carter good night.
5Sat
Dave called at 9:40 to tell Carter good night.
Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.
6Sun
Dave called at 9:12 to tell Carter good night.
Dave did not get Carter.
7Mon
Dave called at 9:24 to tell Carter good night.
Court to set Child support. Dave told Judge that he couldn't afford child support amount that my lawyer wanted. Then told Judge that he has a problem with visitation. He said since I caused his girlfriend to loose her job that they now have to move in together to make ends meet. So our agreement of him not bringing our son around any of his girlfriends till they were together for at least 6 months wasn't working. No child support or visitation was set up.
8Tue
Dave called at 9:01 to tell Carter good night.
Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.
9Wed
Dave called at 9:23 to tell Carter good night.
Dave did not get Carter.
10Thu
Dave did not call and tell Carter good night.I took Carter to see a counselor Dr. Appleton.
11Fri
Dave called at 9:12 and told Carter good night.
Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.
12Sat
Dave was moving back to Springfield and in with Lisa. Won't give me the address. Dave did not get Carter. Dave called at 9:45 to tell Carter good night and Carter was already asleep.
13Sun
Dave called at 9:25 and told Carter good night.
14Mon
Dave 24 hours shift at Suttons.
7:36 pm Dave sent me the following text message.Can u watch Nitro 4 a few days so I can find him a new place8:04 pm I sent him the following text messageAfter serious consideration I have to say no. It would be to hard on Carter and myself to get attached to ol Nitro buddy again. Animal protective league will take him back if u can’t find a good owner. I had Carter call Dave at 8:44 pm to tell him good night cause I was getting ready to get in the shower and didn’t want Carter to miss his phone call while I was in the shower. Dave said he wanted to take Carter to McDonalds either Tuesday or Wednesday. I said well just let me know. Then I sent him the following text message at 8:54 pmMichelle ~ Will you be taking him to dinner by yourself?Dave ~ Have no ideaMichelle ~ Did you get my email about what his counselor saidDave ~ yepMichelle ~ Okay as long as you are aware and know what is in the best interest of our son.Dave ~ I have no idea what u just saidMichelle ~ As long as you know that the counselor does not think it is a good idea for Carter to be around Lisa. That it would be in the best interest of our son if you did not bring her around him.
15Tue
Dave did not get Carter. Dave called at 9:01 to tell him good night.Found out I am getting $85 a week for child support. That covers half of daycare and then doesn't even cover all of dave's insurance premium that I am paying for him. I still pay part of Dave's and all of Carter's ins prem plus any expenses to raise, clothe, and feed Carter.
16Wed
I took Carter to Memorial’s Urgent Care because he was complaining of a sore throat. Dave had said that he wanted to get Carter either Tuesday or Wednesday and he didn’t get him Tuesday night so I sent him a text message that said I had Carter at the dr. cause I thought he had strep throat. I got no response back from him. Dave called at 8:30 pm to tell Carter good night. I informed him that Carter did have strep throat.
17Thu
Dave called at 10:15 am and wanted to know when we were leaving for Atlanta. He wanted us to call when we got to the Bloomington airport. We called Dave at 1:23 from the airport. Dave called at 9:54 pm to tell Carter good night.Dave’s 24 hour shift at Sutton’s
18Fri
Dave called to tell Carter goodnight at 9:48 pm
19Sat
Dave called to tell Carter goodnight at 10:11 pm
20Sun
I got the following text at 5:30 in the morning in Atlanta from Dave. “Please take me back”I did not respond to it. Dave then called me at 9:38 am and I missed the call. I called him back at 9:50 am. He said he was at Quick N Ez reading the newspaper trying to find a place to stay. He said he and Lisa were over. He said she wouldn’t take him to work so he had to call in sick. He called me a couple different times during the day crying. One of the times he said he had to call the Sangamon county Sheriff’s dept out to her house cause she was hitting him and throwing stuff at him when he was there trying to pick up some clothes. He also called and said one time that he was driving around SJH thinking about going in and committing himself cause he felt like killing himself. We called Dave at 9:13 pm to tell him good night and he didn’t answer his phone. He called us back at 9:16 pm to say goodnight. He sounded totally different then he did earlier. I asked him if he was back with Lisa and he didn’t answer me. I asked again and he hung up on me.
21Mon
Dave called at 10:18 pm to tell Carter goodnight.
22Tue
No phone call at all.
23Wed
Talked to Dave a couple times… I went to Taylorville with my mom and Carter to pick up some stuff from Dave’s old house he lived in and didn’t take with him when he moved into Lisa’s. I was going to take Carter by to see him, but he said he was busy at work.Dave’s 24 hr shift at Sutton’sDave said he is applying to work at Schnieders.
24Thu
Lisa picked Dave up from work. Dave called me at 3:25 and wanted to know if I would meet him at McDonalds in Capital City so he could see Carter. I said fine. I met him there and bought him and Carter dinner. Dave told me that Lisa was going to go with him to WI and was applying at Schnieder too so that they could work together as a team. He says it is all part of his plan to get his stuff out of her house and he said that she won’t last being a truck driver. He said he wants me to go on one of his trips with him. Dave told Carter he would call him and tell him good night. I asked him if he was going to stay at Lisa’s or at Pioneer motel? He said he didn’t know. I didn’t understand why if he paid $150 to stay at a hotel and said he was done with lisa why he was still staying there.Dave did NOT call Carter and tell him good night.
25Fri
Dave called at 9:22 to tell Carter goodnight. Dave told me to call him on Saturday, but after 7 am so that Lisa wouldn't know I was calling.
26Sat
Dave's 24 hr shift at Suttons
Dave wanted me to call hotels to see what the weekly rates were. I didn't even ask him why. I just figured that him and lisa were fighting again.Dave called at 9:05 to tell Carter good night.
27Sun
Dave called at 9:17 to tell Carter goodnight.
Carter and I did fly out to Atlanta to see my best friend and her kids and husband last week. It was really nice. I needed the little get away.
So here is the latest in my divorce....
Smith vs Smith
1Tue
Dave called and wanted Carter and I to come over for dinner. I needed to have him sign a check so we drove to Taylorville for dinner. We had dinner and were just sitting around enjoying the time together. Lisa called three times. Dave was talking to her and telling her I was outside with the dog when I was actually sitting on the couch. She was wanting to come over. She told him that we (Carter and I) needed to get out of thier house. I could tell Dave wanted us to leave so Carter and I left. Dave said he didn't think she was going to come over. Well as I was leaving she drove past me. So I turned around and pulled back into his driveway behind her. I asked her what she had to say. She said nothing. I said so everything I told CJ was a lie and she said no. I said so everything you told CJ was a lie and she said yes... they have been dating. I said you told me your brother was a minister and what Dave was doing was adultry and wrong. I said so what you are doing isn't adultry and wrong. She said well you guys are getting a divorce. I called her a few expicit names and was walking away when Carter got out of the van. I said look who is at Daddy's house. Carter said hi to his teacher and we left.
2Wed
Lisa didn't show up for work at Pleasant Run... supposedly quit or got fired.
Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.
3Thu
Dave did not get Carter. Dave moved Lisa into his house.
4Fri
Dave called at 8:39 to tell Carter good night.
5Sat
Dave called at 9:40 to tell Carter good night.
Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.
6Sun
Dave called at 9:12 to tell Carter good night.
Dave did not get Carter.
7Mon
Dave called at 9:24 to tell Carter good night.
Court to set Child support. Dave told Judge that he couldn't afford child support amount that my lawyer wanted. Then told Judge that he has a problem with visitation. He said since I caused his girlfriend to loose her job that they now have to move in together to make ends meet. So our agreement of him not bringing our son around any of his girlfriends till they were together for at least 6 months wasn't working. No child support or visitation was set up.
8Tue
Dave called at 9:01 to tell Carter good night.
Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.
9Wed
Dave called at 9:23 to tell Carter good night.
Dave did not get Carter.
10Thu
Dave did not call and tell Carter good night.I took Carter to see a counselor Dr. Appleton.
11Fri
Dave called at 9:12 and told Carter good night.
Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.
12Sat
Dave was moving back to Springfield and in with Lisa. Won't give me the address. Dave did not get Carter. Dave called at 9:45 to tell Carter good night and Carter was already asleep.
13Sun
Dave called at 9:25 and told Carter good night.
14Mon
Dave 24 hours shift at Suttons.
7:36 pm Dave sent me the following text message.Can u watch Nitro 4 a few days so I can find him a new place8:04 pm I sent him the following text messageAfter serious consideration I have to say no. It would be to hard on Carter and myself to get attached to ol Nitro buddy again. Animal protective league will take him back if u can’t find a good owner. I had Carter call Dave at 8:44 pm to tell him good night cause I was getting ready to get in the shower and didn’t want Carter to miss his phone call while I was in the shower. Dave said he wanted to take Carter to McDonalds either Tuesday or Wednesday. I said well just let me know. Then I sent him the following text message at 8:54 pmMichelle ~ Will you be taking him to dinner by yourself?Dave ~ Have no ideaMichelle ~ Did you get my email about what his counselor saidDave ~ yepMichelle ~ Okay as long as you are aware and know what is in the best interest of our son.Dave ~ I have no idea what u just saidMichelle ~ As long as you know that the counselor does not think it is a good idea for Carter to be around Lisa. That it would be in the best interest of our son if you did not bring her around him.
15Tue
Dave did not get Carter. Dave called at 9:01 to tell him good night.Found out I am getting $85 a week for child support. That covers half of daycare and then doesn't even cover all of dave's insurance premium that I am paying for him. I still pay part of Dave's and all of Carter's ins prem plus any expenses to raise, clothe, and feed Carter.
16Wed
I took Carter to Memorial’s Urgent Care because he was complaining of a sore throat. Dave had said that he wanted to get Carter either Tuesday or Wednesday and he didn’t get him Tuesday night so I sent him a text message that said I had Carter at the dr. cause I thought he had strep throat. I got no response back from him. Dave called at 8:30 pm to tell Carter good night. I informed him that Carter did have strep throat.
17Thu
Dave called at 10:15 am and wanted to know when we were leaving for Atlanta. He wanted us to call when we got to the Bloomington airport. We called Dave at 1:23 from the airport. Dave called at 9:54 pm to tell Carter good night.Dave’s 24 hour shift at Sutton’s
18Fri
Dave called to tell Carter goodnight at 9:48 pm
19Sat
Dave called to tell Carter goodnight at 10:11 pm
20Sun
I got the following text at 5:30 in the morning in Atlanta from Dave. “Please take me back”I did not respond to it. Dave then called me at 9:38 am and I missed the call. I called him back at 9:50 am. He said he was at Quick N Ez reading the newspaper trying to find a place to stay. He said he and Lisa were over. He said she wouldn’t take him to work so he had to call in sick. He called me a couple different times during the day crying. One of the times he said he had to call the Sangamon county Sheriff’s dept out to her house cause she was hitting him and throwing stuff at him when he was there trying to pick up some clothes. He also called and said one time that he was driving around SJH thinking about going in and committing himself cause he felt like killing himself. We called Dave at 9:13 pm to tell him good night and he didn’t answer his phone. He called us back at 9:16 pm to say goodnight. He sounded totally different then he did earlier. I asked him if he was back with Lisa and he didn’t answer me. I asked again and he hung up on me.
21Mon
Dave called at 10:18 pm to tell Carter goodnight.
22Tue
No phone call at all.
23Wed
Talked to Dave a couple times… I went to Taylorville with my mom and Carter to pick up some stuff from Dave’s old house he lived in and didn’t take with him when he moved into Lisa’s. I was going to take Carter by to see him, but he said he was busy at work.Dave’s 24 hr shift at Sutton’sDave said he is applying to work at Schnieders.
24Thu
Lisa picked Dave up from work. Dave called me at 3:25 and wanted to know if I would meet him at McDonalds in Capital City so he could see Carter. I said fine. I met him there and bought him and Carter dinner. Dave told me that Lisa was going to go with him to WI and was applying at Schnieder too so that they could work together as a team. He says it is all part of his plan to get his stuff out of her house and he said that she won’t last being a truck driver. He said he wants me to go on one of his trips with him. Dave told Carter he would call him and tell him good night. I asked him if he was going to stay at Lisa’s or at Pioneer motel? He said he didn’t know. I didn’t understand why if he paid $150 to stay at a hotel and said he was done with lisa why he was still staying there.Dave did NOT call Carter and tell him good night.
25Fri
Dave called at 9:22 to tell Carter goodnight. Dave told me to call him on Saturday, but after 7 am so that Lisa wouldn't know I was calling.
26Sat
Dave's 24 hr shift at Suttons
Dave wanted me to call hotels to see what the weekly rates were. I didn't even ask him why. I just figured that him and lisa were fighting again.Dave called at 9:05 to tell Carter good night.
27Sun
Dave called at 9:17 to tell Carter goodnight.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Child Support
Okay so I found out today that I get $85 a week for child support.
Daycare alone is $140 a week. $70 for each of us.
Dave's Insurance premium that I am paying is $16.69 a week.
So basically I am getting half of daycare paid for and then not even all of Dave's insurance premium. Yes I have checked into dropping him from my insurance, but my company does not allow you to drop or change your insurance unless there is a life changing event. Divorce is one, but the divorce has to be final in order to get the insurance changed.
So now I am paying for part of Dave's premium.... all of Carter.... and everything else it costs me to raise our son.
He wins once again.
I hate this.
Daycare alone is $140 a week. $70 for each of us.
Dave's Insurance premium that I am paying is $16.69 a week.
So basically I am getting half of daycare paid for and then not even all of Dave's insurance premium. Yes I have checked into dropping him from my insurance, but my company does not allow you to drop or change your insurance unless there is a life changing event. Divorce is one, but the divorce has to be final in order to get the insurance changed.
So now I am paying for part of Dave's premium.... all of Carter.... and everything else it costs me to raise our son.
He wins once again.
I hate this.
He may see his son for the first time in 2 weeks.
Okay here is what happened last night. He wants me to take Nitro our dog cause he just moved in with his girlfriend and she can't have pets at her place.
7:36 pm Dave sent me the following text message.
Can u watch Nitro 4 a few days so I can find him a new place
8:04 pm I sent him the following text message
After serious consideration I have to say no. It would be to hard on Carter and myself to get attached to ol Nitro buddy again. Animal protective league will take him back if u can’t find a good owner.
I had Carter call Dave at 8:44 pm to tell him good night cause I was getting ready to get in the shower and didn’t want Carter to miss his phone call while I was in the shower. Dave said he wanted to take Carter to McDonalds either Tuesday or Wednesday. I said well just let me know.
Then I sent him the following text message at 8:54 pm
Michelle ~ Will you be taking him to dinner by yourself?
Dave ~ Have no idea
Michelle ~ Did you get my email about what his counselor said
Dave ~ yep
Michelle ~ Okay as long as you are aware and know what is in the best interest of our son.
Dave ~ I have no idea what u just said
Michelle ~ As long as you know that the counselor does not think it is a good idea for Carter to be around Lisa. That it would be in the best interest of our son if you did not bring her around him.
Now I didn't get any response back from that last text message.
Dave has not seen Carter since January 1st when I took Carter over to his house for about an hour. So, I hope that he does get him for dinner, but I also hope that he doesn't bring his girlfriend.
7:36 pm Dave sent me the following text message.
Can u watch Nitro 4 a few days so I can find him a new place
8:04 pm I sent him the following text message
After serious consideration I have to say no. It would be to hard on Carter and myself to get attached to ol Nitro buddy again. Animal protective league will take him back if u can’t find a good owner.
I had Carter call Dave at 8:44 pm to tell him good night cause I was getting ready to get in the shower and didn’t want Carter to miss his phone call while I was in the shower. Dave said he wanted to take Carter to McDonalds either Tuesday or Wednesday. I said well just let me know.
Then I sent him the following text message at 8:54 pm
Michelle ~ Will you be taking him to dinner by yourself?
Dave ~ Have no idea
Michelle ~ Did you get my email about what his counselor said
Dave ~ yep
Michelle ~ Okay as long as you are aware and know what is in the best interest of our son.
Dave ~ I have no idea what u just said
Michelle ~ As long as you know that the counselor does not think it is a good idea for Carter to be around Lisa. That it would be in the best interest of our son if you did not bring her around him.
Now I didn't get any response back from that last text message.
Dave has not seen Carter since January 1st when I took Carter over to his house for about an hour. So, I hope that he does get him for dinner, but I also hope that he doesn't bring his girlfriend.
Monday, January 14, 2008
ALONE...
The past two nights I have been dreaming about Dave and being back together with him. I do miss him. But, I could never go back to him after all the infidelity ~ Adultery that has gone on with him.
I am so tired of being alone. It is lonely and sad. I sit and I think about how he is now living with his girlfriend. How happy they are and how much fun they must be having.... how she is now living what should be my life. IT SUCKS. I HATE IT.
Oh how I wish Dave would have taken our wedding vows seriously like I did. Why did he have to venture out.... he said he didn't feel that he was my number 1. Him and Carter were my life.
I want to be happy again. I want a family again. All of this just isn't fair. Why does he keep winning and getting everything he wants.
I need to get away.....
I am so tired of being alone. It is lonely and sad. I sit and I think about how he is now living with his girlfriend. How happy they are and how much fun they must be having.... how she is now living what should be my life. IT SUCKS. I HATE IT.
Oh how I wish Dave would have taken our wedding vows seriously like I did. Why did he have to venture out.... he said he didn't feel that he was my number 1. Him and Carter were my life.
I want to be happy again. I want a family again. All of this just isn't fair. Why does he keep winning and getting everything he wants.
I need to get away.....
Thursday, January 10, 2008
UGH.....
Okay I have decided that I need to take Carter to see a counselor. He had been potty trained since he was 2. Now he is pooping his pants a couple times a day since this separation/divorce has started. He still tells me that he wants mommy and daddy to love back to each other. He is acting out at home. So I have made an appointment to take him to see a counselor. Our appt is today. I hope she is able to help him and help me explain things to him.
So I knew that I had to tell Dave that I was taking him to see a counselor. I didn’t want to call and talk to him so I sent him a text message. Here are the corresponding text messages from yesterday.
Michelle ~ Just wanted you to know I am taking Carter to a counselor tomorrow.
Dave ~ Y
Michelle ~ He is still having a hard time adjusting. He is still pooping his pants. He even did it at your house when you had him and Mike, but he said he just pulled up his pants cause he was scared to tell you. He still doesn’t get why we are not together or getting back together and now you are living with his old daycare teacher.
Dave ~ He seems happy, maybe it is U
Michelle ~ I have not told him about you and Lisa yet. It was suggested to me to take him by his daycare. He still tells me he wants us to love back to each other. This can only help him.
Dave ~ I will help what I can
He thinks he knows what is going on with our son. Since we have been separated on November 5th he has only had Carter overnight 5 times, and only one of those was for more then 24 hours and that is cause I was working a 24 hour shift. The other times he has gotten him it was to take him bowling and then I would pick him up from the bowling alley when I got off work at 3:30. So he would only have him about 1.5 hours. Another time he picked him up and just to him to McDonalds to eat and brought him back.
Of course Carter seems happy when he is with Dave. Cause either he is taking him to do something fun, or if he is staying the night Michael is there to play with him. Oh and he hasn’t gotten his daughter since we were together and last got both Michael and Tabitha in October.
So I knew that I had to tell Dave that I was taking him to see a counselor. I didn’t want to call and talk to him so I sent him a text message. Here are the corresponding text messages from yesterday.
Michelle ~ Just wanted you to know I am taking Carter to a counselor tomorrow.
Dave ~ Y
Michelle ~ He is still having a hard time adjusting. He is still pooping his pants. He even did it at your house when you had him and Mike, but he said he just pulled up his pants cause he was scared to tell you. He still doesn’t get why we are not together or getting back together and now you are living with his old daycare teacher.
Dave ~ He seems happy, maybe it is U
Michelle ~ I have not told him about you and Lisa yet. It was suggested to me to take him by his daycare. He still tells me he wants us to love back to each other. This can only help him.
Dave ~ I will help what I can
He thinks he knows what is going on with our son. Since we have been separated on November 5th he has only had Carter overnight 5 times, and only one of those was for more then 24 hours and that is cause I was working a 24 hour shift. The other times he has gotten him it was to take him bowling and then I would pick him up from the bowling alley when I got off work at 3:30. So he would only have him about 1.5 hours. Another time he picked him up and just to him to McDonalds to eat and brought him back.
Of course Carter seems happy when he is with Dave. Cause either he is taking him to do something fun, or if he is staying the night Michael is there to play with him. Oh and he hasn’t gotten his daughter since we were together and last got both Michael and Tabitha in October.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Court sucked....
Okay so went to court today… and it sucked.
My lawyer tried to talk to my stbx (soon to be ex) before we went in front of the judge to see if he would agree to child support so that we wouldn’t have to see the judge. Well he didn’t.
My lawyer wanted him to pay me the following
½ of our son’s daycare
½ of our son’s medical insurance
All of stbx’s medical ins since he is still on my insurance
Then 20% of what was left of his income.
Reasonable???
Judge says NO.
My stbx said that he can’t afford that. He said he just enrolled into our local community college to better himself and because of that he will be occasionally missing work and his paycheck will go down. Plus he already pays child support to one of his other ex wives and paying that to me wouldn’t leave him with any money to live on.
So the judge said that he can’t make him pay all of that when he can’t afford it. He said he will review everything and get back to us by the end of the week.
Then my *%&%*#$ stbx said that he now has a problem with our visitation. He said that since I caused his girlfriend to lose her job cause I threatened to go to the director of the daycare with my proof of the two of them being together that they have had to move in together to make ends meet. So our original agreement of him getting Carter every third day after he gets off his 24 hour shift with the stipulation of him not bringing our son around his girlfriend till they are together for at least 6 months isn’t going to work. So now we have to come up with some kind of agreement and I have to let him get our son and bring him around HER… UGH… I hate this.
I am so ready to jump off this rollercoaster. I hate it.
What do you guys think is reasonable child support and visitation?
My lawyer tried to talk to my stbx (soon to be ex) before we went in front of the judge to see if he would agree to child support so that we wouldn’t have to see the judge. Well he didn’t.
My lawyer wanted him to pay me the following
½ of our son’s daycare
½ of our son’s medical insurance
All of stbx’s medical ins since he is still on my insurance
Then 20% of what was left of his income.
Reasonable???
Judge says NO.
My stbx said that he can’t afford that. He said he just enrolled into our local community college to better himself and because of that he will be occasionally missing work and his paycheck will go down. Plus he already pays child support to one of his other ex wives and paying that to me wouldn’t leave him with any money to live on.
So the judge said that he can’t make him pay all of that when he can’t afford it. He said he will review everything and get back to us by the end of the week.
Then my *%&%*#$ stbx said that he now has a problem with our visitation. He said that since I caused his girlfriend to lose her job cause I threatened to go to the director of the daycare with my proof of the two of them being together that they have had to move in together to make ends meet. So our original agreement of him getting Carter every third day after he gets off his 24 hour shift with the stipulation of him not bringing our son around his girlfriend till they are together for at least 6 months isn’t going to work. So now we have to come up with some kind of agreement and I have to let him get our son and bring him around HER… UGH… I hate this.
I am so ready to jump off this rollercoaster. I hate it.
What do you guys think is reasonable child support and visitation?
Saturday, January 5, 2008
How low can you go??
Well my stbx (soon to be ex) is back with our son's daycare teacher.
So much for him saying he wanted me back. He wanted me to come over on new years eve and I didn't. He then wanted us to come over on new years day and make us dinner. I had to have him sign a check and needed to give him some paperwork cause his second ex wife was taking him back to court. (yes I will be his 3rd ex wife). Well while I was there at his house Lisa Carter's daycare teacher called three times wanting to come over cause she wants him back. She says she can't breathe without him.... So Carter and I left and Lisa drove past me on her way to Dave's house. So I turned around and confronted her in his driveway. I asked her what she had to say now... she said nothing. I said so everything I told the director of the daycare was a lie and she said no. I said so eveything you told the director was a lie and she said yes. She said they have been dating. I called her a few explicit names. Then I told her that she told me once that he brother was a minister and what Dave was doing was adultry... I said so what you are doing is adultry too. She then said well you guys are getting a divorce.
So I had to pull my son out of a wonderful daycare cause his teacher is sleeping with my husband... we haven't even been seperated 2 months.
ugh.....
So much for him saying he wanted me back. He wanted me to come over on new years eve and I didn't. He then wanted us to come over on new years day and make us dinner. I had to have him sign a check and needed to give him some paperwork cause his second ex wife was taking him back to court. (yes I will be his 3rd ex wife). Well while I was there at his house Lisa Carter's daycare teacher called three times wanting to come over cause she wants him back. She says she can't breathe without him.... So Carter and I left and Lisa drove past me on her way to Dave's house. So I turned around and confronted her in his driveway. I asked her what she had to say now... she said nothing. I said so everything I told the director of the daycare was a lie and she said no. I said so eveything you told the director was a lie and she said yes. She said they have been dating. I called her a few explicit names. Then I told her that she told me once that he brother was a minister and what Dave was doing was adultry... I said so what you are doing is adultry too. She then said well you guys are getting a divorce.
So I had to pull my son out of a wonderful daycare cause his teacher is sleeping with my husband... we haven't even been seperated 2 months.
ugh.....
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