All about me!
Well here is a little update on me. I seem to have just been focusing my posts on all the Dave drama lately. Yes that gives us all a good laugh, but I am sure or hope you want to know about me too.
So here it goes…
As you all know I broke up with Michael in February. I really liked him and he was a true genuine guy who would have gone to the end of the earth for me. However, after a little over 6 months I just didn’t feel that great connection or those knock me off my feet butterflies and feelings of falling in love and not being able to live without him. I did and still do really like him and miss him plus there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. I couldn’t have ever asked for someone as caring as him. He welcomed me and Carter into his life with open arms. Carter also really liked him. There are times I think I made a mistake by breaking up with him. But, if my feelings for him weren’t there I didn’t want to drag it on any longer and have him possibly fall in love with me and get really hurt in the end. I feel terrible feeling this way, but I think part of my problem was the similarities to Dave and I know that wasn’t fair to Michael. Michael and Dave grew up with the same kind of childhood of not nowing their fathers and basically being raised by their grandmothers. My fear of not having stability again really scares me. I don't want to end up in finacial ruin again.
I have dated a couple other guys who did have really good very well paying jobs and they all owned their own homes. Well I have mentioned Todd whom I dated right after Dave and I separated. Then there was the other Michael I had met on eHarmony. Well the last one I was just dating up till this week his name was Jeff. He was really nice had a very good job as a Director of Strategy. He was divorced, but didn't have any kids. Well that relationship didn't work for me either.
So my main focus as it has always been is Carter. I am going to take a break from dating unless somebody just falls in front of me. There is a firefighter that I just think is too cute so I will just lust after him for now.
Well that is it on me.
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2 comments:
First allow me to thank you for sharing all these painful experiences. Allowing me to follow dates and events from beginning to end? Well, maybe not the end because there is still more to tell but I think you know what I mean. It takes courage to open one’s life up whenever we go through life but it takes a “special type of courage” when someone is going through a crisis like a divorce.
Comments: As I read through all your posts I saw patterns but I wish to comment only on all those positive patterns. I wished I could say I witness good constructive patterns from your ex but I didn’t so I will comment only on what I witness with your son and yourself.
So often I heard you state how what is really important is what is best for Carter. Putting Carter’s need first and foremost. Carter will thank you for that and no doubt all the days of his life and I do wish you ex would but “who knows?” Someday your son will say this, “Mom thanks for being there for me and I love you so much!” Maybe he already said that, he seem like a very bright young man.
How you struggled with wanting your ex back but knew it wouldn’t be in “your best interest” and I believe in the long run Carter‘s ether. I know how hard something like this can be. Wanting someone so bad but still knowing how toxic it would be if you did.
How you wanted only to protect Carter and knew the relationship between Dave and Lisa was dysfunctional. Again as a good mother you thought about Carter. You still had feeling for Dave but you knew how this “toxic” relationship between Dave and Lisa could and no doubt would affect his relationship between father and son.
While your ex seems to have so many relationships but you took the time you needed to heal before trying to date again. Also again Carter was put first and foremost in your decision to date and how you waited before introducing Carter to your dating partner until you felt it was appropriate to do so.
Was there abuse in your relationship with Dave? I believe so albeit emotional and mental abuse it was abuses never the less. Still you rose even to this and try to play fair with your ex. I wonder if he ever appreciated it? Why did you play fair? Again I believe you love your son so much his best interest came first.
Your last entry “All about me” is the best one. Why? Because so many times you put others before you. Dave and his many problems and boy does he have problems. The many issues that Carter was dealing with because of your ex lack of parental skills so often showed here in your blogs. In short Carter become and is the center of your universe. Losing your self at times in your job why? Because again you are helping people which allow you personal power and growth. But really Ms. Smith it’s time for you now. It’s your time now. Being a single parent myself I know how important it is to think about our children and to put them first and foremost but we also need to put ourselves there as well at times. It doesn’t take away the quality of our children’s life it adds to it. For when we are happy our children also as happy.
I do hope you don’t mind this many comments but I wanted to show both my appreciation and support. Also, I am sorry this is so long. Thanks again for sharing with me and I know many other readers. You are a strong woman and also a good caring and supporting mother. You have so much to be proud of and do hope you are?
God bless...
Oh, sorry there are a few typos on my comments:
"Was there abuse in your relationship with Dave? I believe so albeit emotional and mental abuse it was abuses never the less."
s/b (should be) "I believe so albeit emotional and mental abuse ti was abusive never the less"
"In short Carter become and is the center of your universe."
In short Carter became and is the center of your universe.
"For when we are happy our children also as happy."
For when we are happy our children also will be happy
Again sorry for that.
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