Just another day in my life right now....

Well at times I think that things are getting better and I will survive this. Then there are days I don't feel like I can literally make it another minute. All of this sucks... it really does. I have so many unanswered questions.... I know I will never get and answer to or at least an honest answer. I don't think he can tell me the truth to save his life. Have the past 10 years all been a lie?

Here is what has happened this week. Well Dave again was supposed to get Carter and he was going to go to Jacksonville to see his other kids on Sunday. I had told Dave that I didn't want him to bring Carter around his new girlfriend until they were together for at least 6 months. Carter doesn't need someone coming in and out of his life right now. Dave said "So you are going to make me choose between her and him?" In my opinion it shouldn't be a choice. Your children should always come first. Well you know what... that new girlfriend of his comes first. I guess they had gotten in a fight and so he spent the day trying to make it up to her or something. I really feel sorry for Tabitha and Michael cause they haven't seen their dad except for an hour on Thanksgiving since we lived together and I had them on our weekend. They are old enough to know what is going on and to know what their dad is doing. Carter on the other hand doesn't. Carter keeps telling me that he wants his Daddy and Mommy to love back to each other and live together again so he can see both of us. It is so hard to hear him say that. I know deep down that will never happen. Sometimes I think maybe I would try to work things out just so that Carter will be happy again. But, in the long run it wouldn't be fair and wouldn't be right. I just hate to see Carter hurting and missing his dad.

Dave says his new girlfriends name is Lori. However I heard that a girl named Lisa had moved some stuff into his house. This Lisa was a girl who used to date someone who works at Suttons where Dave works. My source of information told me that this lady had spent some time in a mental health facility cause she tried to set her house and all of her children's belongings on fire. I then became concerned for Carter's sake. I picked Carter up from school that night and after I left it hit me... Carter's daycare teachers name is Lisa... she used to live around Taylorville, she used to date someone that works at Suttons. I was FURIOUS once again. I then remember Dave telling me that Lisa had given him her phone number after I had told her that we were going to be getting a divorce. I didn't think much of it at first cause I just thought maybe she wanted to get back in touch with that guy she dated. Now I have a million things running through my head. I didn't say or ask Dave anything about it for 5 whole days. Then it got the best of me and I confronted him. I asked him if he new someone named Lisa Owens. He said yeah that is Carter's daycare teacher. I asked him if they had a relationship.... he immediately got pissed. I asked him if they talk… and he said yes EVERY DAY. He said she is helping him with weight watchers and helping him lose weight. I asked him if he was going to meeting and doing weight watchers now. He said he wasn't going to meeting and he was doing weight watchers when he wasn't drinking. (How do I trust this man who has continually lied to me over and over again?) I told him I didn't like that fact at all that he had any kind of relationship with Carter's teacher. It was very unprofessional and inappropriate on her part. She should have never gotten involved. Dave should have never contacted her. I told Dave I wasn't happy and I was going to think about pulling Carter out the daycare. So I set up a meeting to talk to CJ the daycare director at 10 am. I met her and told her that I was thinking about pulling Carter out, but I really hated to cause he needs this stability right now. She asked what was going on so I told her. I wasn't positive on what was going on, but my gut instinct is that what ever it is isn't right…. Even if they are just friends. I told her I thought it was unprofessional and inappropriate for her and my husband to even be contacting each other. She agreed and said she was going to talk to Lisa and see if she could find out what was going on and she would let me know. She didn't want me to pull Carter out as she agreed that Carter needs to be where he is comfortable and needs the stability and doesn't need another major change. I left and went back to work. CJ called me later and told me that she talked to Lisa and that she stated that they were just friends too and that she was helping him with his weight loss. I don't know what to believe… Then Dave called me after lunch and was yelling and cussing at me how dare I pull a stunt like that…. He told me I was low and that he thought I wanted to be his friend and a friend would never do anything like that. He said I ruined his friendship with Lisa and all she was doing was trying to help him. I finally got tired of him yelling and cussing at me that I hung up on him. So these are the following text messages that were sent back and forth between us

Michelle: What did she (Lisa) say? Yes I voiced my concerns about Carter.

Dave: U told CJ we r having a affair. I am with Lori, Lisa was being a friend helping me with my weight. Now she can't so go spread more rumors, go fuck yourself, & if it doesn't have 2 do with Carter stay the fuck out of my life.

Michelle: Well then you need to get Lori to co-sign for a loan for you if you don't want to be my friend and you want me out of your life. Have a good life. (I was so hurt)

Michelle: I am sorry I upset you and made you mad. I know you don't love me any more and yes that hurts like hell. But some how I will survive. It is when you do things that affect Carter or have the potential to affect him that I get mad and get defensive for Carters sake. Again I know you don't care, but I am sorry.

Dave: How the fuck is me dating someone going 2 effect Carter, I look at how they would be with Carter. What u did today was worse then anything Becky ever did. Lisa is a very kind hearted person.

Michelle: Sorry that I think it was very unprofessional of her to even contact you even if she just wanted to be friends. I went and talk to the director about pulling Carter out.

Dave: U know what is bullshit Lisa like u, I was trying 2 lose weight 4 my health, now she can't do that. I hope u & Jake, Jenn, & Jamie all are happy u ruined a friendship & a reputation Lisa is now staying away & does not want 2 b n the middle of it.

Michelle: She should have never gotten involved in the first place. It was inappropriate and not professional.

Dave: Then pull Carter out. I can only imagine what is being said behind the scenes.


I am tired of him being so mean and hurtful to me. He is the one that doesn't seem to care about his children. I have the kids best interest at heart. I am not out to hurt anyone.