update

Okay I have been really busy so I have just copied and pasted what I keep in my divorce calendar on here.

Carter and I did fly out to Atlanta to see my best friend and her kids and husband last week. It was really nice. I needed the little get away.

So here is the latest in my divorce....

Smith vs Smith
1Tue
Dave called and wanted Carter and I to come over for dinner. I needed to have him sign a check so we drove to Taylorville for dinner. We had dinner and were just sitting around enjoying the time together. Lisa called three times. Dave was talking to her and telling her I was outside with the dog when I was actually sitting on the couch. She was wanting to come over. She told him that we (Carter and I) needed to get out of thier house. I could tell Dave wanted us to leave so Carter and I left. Dave said he didn't think she was going to come over. Well as I was leaving she drove past me. So I turned around and pulled back into his driveway behind her. I asked her what she had to say. She said nothing. I said so everything I told CJ was a lie and she said no. I said so everything you told CJ was a lie and she said yes... they have been dating. I said you told me your brother was a minister and what Dave was doing was adultry and wrong. I said so what you are doing isn't adultry and wrong. She said well you guys are getting a divorce. I called her a few expicit names and was walking away when Carter got out of the van. I said look who is at Daddy's house. Carter said hi to his teacher and we left.

2Wed
Lisa didn't show up for work at Pleasant Run... supposedly quit or got fired.

Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.

3Thu
Dave did not get Carter. Dave moved Lisa into his house.

4Fri
Dave called at 8:39 to tell Carter good night.

5Sat
Dave called at 9:40 to tell Carter good night.

Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.

6Sun
Dave called at 9:12 to tell Carter good night.

Dave did not get Carter.

7Mon
Dave called at 9:24 to tell Carter good night.

Court to set Child support. Dave told Judge that he couldn't afford child support amount that my lawyer wanted. Then told Judge that he has a problem with visitation. He said since I caused his girlfriend to loose her job that they now have to move in together to make ends meet. So our agreement of him not bringing our son around any of his girlfriends till they were together for at least 6 months wasn't working. No child support or visitation was set up.

8Tue
Dave called at 9:01 to tell Carter good night.

Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.

9Wed
Dave called at 9:23 to tell Carter good night.

Dave did not get Carter.

10Thu
Dave did not call and tell Carter good night.I took Carter to see a counselor Dr. Appleton.

11Fri
Dave called at 9:12 and told Carter good night.

Dave's 24 hour shift at Suttons.

12Sat
Dave was moving back to Springfield and in with Lisa. Won't give me the address. Dave did not get Carter. Dave called at 9:45 to tell Carter good night and Carter was already asleep.

13Sun
Dave called at 9:25 and told Carter good night.

14Mon
Dave 24 hours shift at Suttons.

7:36 pm Dave sent me the following text message.Can u watch Nitro 4 a few days so I can find him a new place8:04 pm I sent him the following text messageAfter serious consideration I have to say no. It would be to hard on Carter and myself to get attached to ol Nitro buddy again. Animal protective league will take him back if u can’t find a good owner. I had Carter call Dave at 8:44 pm to tell him good night cause I was getting ready to get in the shower and didn’t want Carter to miss his phone call while I was in the shower. Dave said he wanted to take Carter to McDonalds either Tuesday or Wednesday. I said well just let me know. Then I sent him the following text message at 8:54 pmMichelle ~ Will you be taking him to dinner by yourself?Dave ~ Have no ideaMichelle ~ Did you get my email about what his counselor saidDave ~ yepMichelle ~ Okay as long as you are aware and know what is in the best interest of our son.Dave ~ I have no idea what u just saidMichelle ~ As long as you know that the counselor does not think it is a good idea for Carter to be around Lisa. That it would be in the best interest of our son if you did not bring her around him.

15Tue
Dave did not get Carter. Dave called at 9:01 to tell him good night.Found out I am getting $85 a week for child support. That covers half of daycare and then doesn't even cover all of dave's insurance premium that I am paying for him. I still pay part of Dave's and all of Carter's ins prem plus any expenses to raise, clothe, and feed Carter.

16Wed
I took Carter to Memorial’s Urgent Care because he was complaining of a sore throat. Dave had said that he wanted to get Carter either Tuesday or Wednesday and he didn’t get him Tuesday night so I sent him a text message that said I had Carter at the dr. cause I thought he had strep throat. I got no response back from him. Dave called at 8:30 pm to tell Carter good night. I informed him that Carter did have strep throat.

17Thu
Dave called at 10:15 am and wanted to know when we were leaving for Atlanta. He wanted us to call when we got to the Bloomington airport. We called Dave at 1:23 from the airport. Dave called at 9:54 pm to tell Carter good night.Dave’s 24 hour shift at Sutton’s

18Fri
Dave called to tell Carter goodnight at 9:48 pm

19Sat
Dave called to tell Carter goodnight at 10:11 pm

20Sun
I got the following text at 5:30 in the morning in Atlanta from Dave. “Please take me back”I did not respond to it. Dave then called me at 9:38 am and I missed the call. I called him back at 9:50 am. He said he was at Quick N Ez reading the newspaper trying to find a place to stay. He said he and Lisa were over. He said she wouldn’t take him to work so he had to call in sick. He called me a couple different times during the day crying. One of the times he said he had to call the Sangamon county Sheriff’s dept out to her house cause she was hitting him and throwing stuff at him when he was there trying to pick up some clothes. He also called and said one time that he was driving around SJH thinking about going in and committing himself cause he felt like killing himself. We called Dave at 9:13 pm to tell him good night and he didn’t answer his phone. He called us back at 9:16 pm to say goodnight. He sounded totally different then he did earlier. I asked him if he was back with Lisa and he didn’t answer me. I asked again and he hung up on me.

21Mon
Dave called at 10:18 pm to tell Carter goodnight.

22Tue
No phone call at all.

23Wed
Talked to Dave a couple times… I went to Taylorville with my mom and Carter to pick up some stuff from Dave’s old house he lived in and didn’t take with him when he moved into Lisa’s. I was going to take Carter by to see him, but he said he was busy at work.Dave’s 24 hr shift at Sutton’sDave said he is applying to work at Schnieders.

24Thu
Lisa picked Dave up from work. Dave called me at 3:25 and wanted to know if I would meet him at McDonalds in Capital City so he could see Carter. I said fine. I met him there and bought him and Carter dinner. Dave told me that Lisa was going to go with him to WI and was applying at Schnieder too so that they could work together as a team. He says it is all part of his plan to get his stuff out of her house and he said that she won’t last being a truck driver. He said he wants me to go on one of his trips with him. Dave told Carter he would call him and tell him good night. I asked him if he was going to stay at Lisa’s or at Pioneer motel? He said he didn’t know. I didn’t understand why if he paid $150 to stay at a hotel and said he was done with lisa why he was still staying there.Dave did NOT call Carter and tell him good night.

25Fri
Dave called at 9:22 to tell Carter goodnight. Dave told me to call him on Saturday, but after 7 am so that Lisa wouldn't know I was calling.

26Sat
Dave's 24 hr shift at Suttons

Dave wanted me to call hotels to see what the weekly rates were. I didn't even ask him why. I just figured that him and lisa were fighting again.Dave called at 9:05 to tell Carter good night.

27Sun
Dave called at 9:17 to tell Carter goodnight.

Child Support

Okay so I found out today that I get $85 a week for child support.

Daycare alone is $140 a week. $70 for each of us.
Dave's Insurance premium that I am paying is $16.69 a week.

So basically I am getting half of daycare paid for and then not even all of Dave's insurance premium. Yes I have checked into dropping him from my insurance, but my company does not allow you to drop or change your insurance unless there is a life changing event. Divorce is one, but the divorce has to be final in order to get the insurance changed.

So now I am paying for part of Dave's premium.... all of Carter.... and everything else it costs me to raise our son.

He wins once again.

I hate this.

He may see his son for the first time in 2 weeks.

Okay here is what happened last night. He wants me to take Nitro our dog cause he just moved in with his girlfriend and she can't have pets at her place.

7:36 pm Dave sent me the following text message.
Can u watch Nitro 4 a few days so I can find him a new place

8:04 pm I sent him the following text message
After serious consideration I have to say no. It would be to hard on Carter and myself to get attached to ol Nitro buddy again. Animal protective league will take him back if u can’t find a good owner.

I had Carter call Dave at 8:44 pm to tell him good night cause I was getting ready to get in the shower and didn’t want Carter to miss his phone call while I was in the shower. Dave said he wanted to take Carter to McDonalds either Tuesday or Wednesday. I said well just let me know.

Then I sent him the following text message at 8:54 pm
Michelle ~ Will you be taking him to dinner by yourself?

Dave ~ Have no idea

Michelle ~ Did you get my email about what his counselor said

Dave ~ yep

Michelle ~ Okay as long as you are aware and know what is in the best interest of our son.

Dave ~ I have no idea what u just said

Michelle ~ As long as you know that the counselor does not think it is a good idea for Carter to be around Lisa. That it would be in the best interest of our son if you did not bring her around him.

Now I didn't get any response back from that last text message.

Dave has not seen Carter since January 1st when I took Carter over to his house for about an hour. So, I hope that he does get him for dinner, but I also hope that he doesn't bring his girlfriend.

ALONE...

The past two nights I have been dreaming about Dave and being back together with him. I do miss him. But, I could never go back to him after all the infidelity ~ Adultery that has gone on with him.

I am so tired of being alone. It is lonely and sad. I sit and I think about how he is now living with his girlfriend. How happy they are and how much fun they must be having.... how she is now living what should be my life. IT SUCKS. I HATE IT.

Oh how I wish Dave would have taken our wedding vows seriously like I did. Why did he have to venture out.... he said he didn't feel that he was my number 1. Him and Carter were my life.

I want to be happy again. I want a family again. All of this just isn't fair. Why does he keep winning and getting everything he wants.

I need to get away.....

UGH.....

Okay I have decided that I need to take Carter to see a counselor. He had been potty trained since he was 2. Now he is pooping his pants a couple times a day since this separation/divorce has started. He still tells me that he wants mommy and daddy to love back to each other. He is acting out at home. So I have made an appointment to take him to see a counselor. Our appt is today. I hope she is able to help him and help me explain things to him.

So I knew that I had to tell Dave that I was taking him to see a counselor. I didn’t want to call and talk to him so I sent him a text message. Here are the corresponding text messages from yesterday.

Michelle ~ Just wanted you to know I am taking Carter to a counselor tomorrow.

Dave ~ Y

Michelle ~ He is still having a hard time adjusting. He is still pooping his pants. He even did it at your house when you had him and Mike, but he said he just pulled up his pants cause he was scared to tell you. He still doesn’t get why we are not together or getting back together and now you are living with his old daycare teacher.

Dave ~ He seems happy, maybe it is U

Michelle ~ I have not told him about you and Lisa yet. It was suggested to me to take him by his daycare. He still tells me he wants us to love back to each other. This can only help him.

Dave ~ I will help what I can


He thinks he knows what is going on with our son. Since we have been separated on November 5th he has only had Carter overnight 5 times, and only one of those was for more then 24 hours and that is cause I was working a 24 hour shift. The other times he has gotten him it was to take him bowling and then I would pick him up from the bowling alley when I got off work at 3:30. So he would only have him about 1.5 hours. Another time he picked him up and just to him to McDonalds to eat and brought him back.

Of course Carter seems happy when he is with Dave. Cause either he is taking him to do something fun, or if he is staying the night Michael is there to play with him. Oh and he hasn’t gotten his daughter since we were together and last got both Michael and Tabitha in October.

Court sucked....

Okay so went to court today… and it sucked.

My lawyer tried to talk to my stbx (soon to be ex) before we went in front of the judge to see if he would agree to child support so that we wouldn’t have to see the judge. Well he didn’t.

My lawyer wanted him to pay me the following
½ of our son’s daycare
½ of our son’s medical insurance
All of stbx’s medical ins since he is still on my insurance
Then 20% of what was left of his income.

Reasonable???

Judge says NO.

My stbx said that he can’t afford that. He said he just enrolled into our local community college to better himself and because of that he will be occasionally missing work and his paycheck will go down. Plus he already pays child support to one of his other ex wives and paying that to me wouldn’t leave him with any money to live on.

So the judge said that he can’t make him pay all of that when he can’t afford it. He said he will review everything and get back to us by the end of the week.

Then my *%&%*#$ stbx said that he now has a problem with our visitation. He said that since I caused his girlfriend to lose her job cause I threatened to go to the director of the daycare with my proof of the two of them being together that they have had to move in together to make ends meet. So our original agreement of him getting Carter every third day after he gets off his 24 hour shift with the stipulation of him not bringing our son around his girlfriend till they are together for at least 6 months isn’t going to work. So now we have to come up with some kind of agreement and I have to let him get our son and bring him around HER… UGH… I hate this.

I am so ready to jump off this rollercoaster. I hate it.

What do you guys think is reasonable child support and visitation?

How low can you go??

Well my stbx (soon to be ex) is back with our son's daycare teacher.

So much for him saying he wanted me back. He wanted me to come over on new years eve and I didn't. He then wanted us to come over on new years day and make us dinner. I had to have him sign a check and needed to give him some paperwork cause his second ex wife was taking him back to court. (yes I will be his 3rd ex wife). Well while I was there at his house Lisa Carter's daycare teacher called three times wanting to come over cause she wants him back. She says she can't breathe without him.... So Carter and I left and Lisa drove past me on her way to Dave's house. So I turned around and confronted her in his driveway. I asked her what she had to say now... she said nothing. I said so everything I told the director of the daycare was a lie and she said no. I said so eveything you told the director was a lie and she said yes. She said they have been dating. I called her a few explicit names. Then I told her that she told me once that he brother was a minister and what Dave was doing was adultry... I said so what you are doing is adultry too. She then said well you guys are getting a divorce.

So I had to pull my son out of a wonderful daycare cause his teacher is sleeping with my husband... we haven't even been seperated 2 months.

ugh.....