Carter's visit with his Dad

So I let Dave take Carter for a little bit on Saturday. I told him he could pick him up around 12. Carter was so excited he wouldn't even go play outside with his friends cause his Dad was coming. So 12 comes and goes.... finally about 1 Dave calls and says he is on his way and will call when he gets on North Cotton Hill Road. He asks to borrow my car seat again and I let him use it and they are gone.

While Carter was gone I went out and bought him 2 beta fish!! They were talking about pets at school and he was sad cause he missed our dog that Dave had kept after we separated and then ended up giving away. So Carter was wanting a pet and I wasn't going to get him a dog or anything like that.... so fish it is!! Plus it was something for me to do while he was gone so I wasn't home crying cause I was worried and missing him.

Anyways... Dave called at 5:15 and wanted to know if I wanted Carter back now I could come and get him, or else if I wanted him to bring him home it would be around 7:30 or so. I said that he could spend some more time with him and 7:30 was fine. He calls again at 6:44 and says "we" are on our way to bring Carter back. Dave again calls me when he is on North Cotton Hill Road so I can be outside waiting for him... don't know why that is... is he afraid to come to the door?? Carter gets out of the car and is walking up towards the house before I make it outside. Carter tells me to come here he wants me to meet Curtis (Dave's girlfriends 10 yr old son) so I walk down the driveway a bit and waved and said hi. Dave was said what are you doing... I said Carter wanted me to meet Curtis. Dave's girlfriend was driving and Curtis was in the seat behind her so I couldn't see either one of them that well as they had just parked in the street and the drivers side was the furthest away.

Once Carter got inside all I asked him was if he had fun. Carter said yeah Curtis and I played outside and played guns. He also said he saw and old grandma. I asked him then if he went to Jacksonville to see Dave's mom of Dave's grandma that is in a nursing home. He said never mind.... I'm not suppose to tell you. So I dropped it.

On Sunday I had to work at Lifestar for a few hours and mom was doing an open house for dad so April was going to watch Carter for a bit. Carter told April that Curtis had told him that his sister was chasing him and he ran into the bathroom to hide and locked the door and tried to call his mom and she wouldn't answer the phone.... then he ran out of the bathroom and into the kitchen and grabbed a knife and chased his sister with it. April told me about that and I debated on asking Carter anything about it and then decided I better cause if something happened to him over at his Dads and I didn't pursue this I would never forgive myself. So I asked Carter and he said that Curtis told him about it and it didn't happen while he was there. So I was a bit relieved, but still concerned about this 10 yr old chasing someone with a knife. So Dave called on Monday and I debated on saying anything to him cause I knew he would get pissed and deny anything like that would happen. But, I decided again that I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't say anything and something were to happen to my baby. So as I was trying to tell the story to Dave before I could even finish he was cutting me off telling me that it didn't happen. I told him to let me finish and that Carter said it didn't happen while he was there, but that it happened a different time. Dave still said that it didn't happen and wouldn't have happened in a condescending voice. I was so mad I just hung up on him. I don't need to listen to him talk to me that way and I was pissed that he believed this 10 yr old child he knew for only 1 week over his own son.

I haven't really heard from him since then... he did text me on Wednesday and asked me what I still had of his besides his real father's Bible and his grandma's picture. I told him I didn't know and I would go look later. I wasn't going to drop what I was doing to go look, but I did later and all I have of his is a laundry basket full of baseball pictures and some pictures of the kids. He had given me all this stuff the last time he left Lisa and moved out before he started truck driving. Pretty sad to think that when he moved in with me in 1999 all he had was a milk crate full of stuff and when we separated and divorced he had a house full of stuff he took. He took a couch, queen size bed, two TV's, DVD player, vcr player, laptop, tons of dishes and kitchen stuff, and a lot more too. Now he is moving in with this girl and all he has is a small laundry basket of stuff and his clothes.


Okay this is an addition....

I posted this original blog around 9 am.... well now it is almost 2pm and I have some news that will blow you away. Are you ready??

3 weeks ago Dave picked a girl named Susie who was the one he decided to exclusivley pursue. On March 12th he came to Spfld for the weekend with his training partner on the big rig truck. He met up again with Angie with one of the girls he met online... well they got married on St. Patrick's Day. Yeah you read that right. They got $**$&#*%& married. So much for picking Susie three weeks ago to be the one.... OMG

Frustrated....

Well Dave the dead beat dad is now quitting his OTR Trucking job that he has with Prime and going to move back to Springfield. He has met a woman (Angie) online who lives here and she wants him to quit and find a job here. He came into town on Thursday and finally found some time to see his son Saturday night at 9:30 pm for 30 minutes. Then he did see him again on Sunday for about 3 hours. At first thought he wanted me to meet him down town at one of the museums. I told him no that he should come and get Carter and the two of them spend some quality time together. He said well doesn't he still need a car seat. I told him I would let him borrow one of mine. He said he didn't have room that his Angie's back seat was full. I told him to move things around… He said he would get back to me. Well he finally got Carter and told me he was going to take him to Chuck E Cheese. Well when they got back home I found out Dave went and picked up his Angie's 10 yr old son and took them both to go play miniature golf since Angie was working. Carter was so excited to go with his Dad and was also so excited when he came home. He said he and Curtis had a blast. Carter told me that his Dad told him that now on his stay home days he can go spend then night over there with them and Curtis and they can play and have fun. So now 1.5 years later he is wanting his visitation??? What the heck…. Why now… cause there is some woman in the picture who isn't crazy like Lisa was and who would take care of Carter… and wants Carter in the picture. He is going to play the whole Disney land dad thing and it makes me mad. So today he is out looking for a local trucking job and he is going to live with Angie and her kids. She has one that is 10 and he may be the only one that lives at home… I think they rest are older.

One thing that really upset me and I don’t' know why I let it get to me was as Carter, Dave and myself were sitting at Wendy's Saturday night Dave said to me "I am really going to grow up this time" I just looked at him and he said "you don't believe me do you" I told him while trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tears I wish you would have done that for US. Ugh…. Why did I let that get to me, why did I let my emotions show. I don’t' want him back, I am better now so why did that hurt so bad.

I am being selfish, but I don't want to share my son with him and his new family. I don't want to have to let him go over there every other weekend and share holidays. I don't share well…. I know it is what is best for Carter and that he needs his Dad in his life and he was so excited to spend time with him. But damn it… I want him all to myself.

March update

Hello!

This is going to be just a brief update cause there is not much going on.

As you all know I broke it off with Michael last month. It was hard, but deep down I know it was the right thing to do. He is an amazing man, but I just didn't have the right kind of magical feelings for him. I have talked to him a few times through email and he seems to be doing well… which makes me happy. That was the hardest part about breaking it off with him was worrying about how he would take it and that I would hurt him in the end. I have never ever broken up with anyone. It has ALWAYS been the other way around and I am always the one hurt and wondering why.

I am not seeing anyone at the current time… don't even have anyone I am talking to either. There is one guy that I just dream and have one of those high school crushes on. LOL I don't think I am his type though.

Carter is doing well. He is loving the nicer weather and the ability to get outside and play with his friends. They were outside almost all weekend playing. His school had a fun fair this weekend and Carter had lots of fun. I can't believe that his kindergarten year is almost over. My baby is growing up way to fast… before I know it he will be a senior in high school.

Now when my friend had a psychic party not to long ago the psychic lady told me that I was going to meet someone who's name starts with the letter "J" and that he is my soul mate. She stated that I would get pregnant without having to use fertility treatment and that we would get married too. She told me I would have a baby girl. So anyways… Carter more then one time has told me that he is going to be a big brother and that I am going to have another baby sometime. I've asked him who the daddy of the baby will be and at times he says he doesn't know yet…. Then times he said well my daddy could be the daddy.

Speaking of Carter's daddy… he is still driving a truck. He sent me a text message a little over a week ago and asked me if it would be to awkward for me if he asked me for dating advice. I told him no it would be weird, but I would be okay with it. Basically I was just nosey and wanted to know!! LOL Anyways, He had three women that he was trying to choose between and wanted my opinion on which one he should date more exclusively. I asked him if they all knew about each other and he said no…. I told him that he was going to get himself in trouble if he wasn't careful. He will NEVER change. As hard as it was leaving him I am so thankful now.