Frustrated....

Well Dave the dead beat dad is now quitting his OTR Trucking job that he has with Prime and going to move back to Springfield. He has met a woman (Angie) online who lives here and she wants him to quit and find a job here. He came into town on Thursday and finally found some time to see his son Saturday night at 9:30 pm for 30 minutes. Then he did see him again on Sunday for about 3 hours. At first thought he wanted me to meet him down town at one of the museums. I told him no that he should come and get Carter and the two of them spend some quality time together. He said well doesn't he still need a car seat. I told him I would let him borrow one of mine. He said he didn't have room that his Angie's back seat was full. I told him to move things around… He said he would get back to me. Well he finally got Carter and told me he was going to take him to Chuck E Cheese. Well when they got back home I found out Dave went and picked up his Angie's 10 yr old son and took them both to go play miniature golf since Angie was working. Carter was so excited to go with his Dad and was also so excited when he came home. He said he and Curtis had a blast. Carter told me that his Dad told him that now on his stay home days he can go spend then night over there with them and Curtis and they can play and have fun. So now 1.5 years later he is wanting his visitation??? What the heck…. Why now… cause there is some woman in the picture who isn't crazy like Lisa was and who would take care of Carter… and wants Carter in the picture. He is going to play the whole Disney land dad thing and it makes me mad. So today he is out looking for a local trucking job and he is going to live with Angie and her kids. She has one that is 10 and he may be the only one that lives at home… I think they rest are older.

One thing that really upset me and I don’t' know why I let it get to me was as Carter, Dave and myself were sitting at Wendy's Saturday night Dave said to me "I am really going to grow up this time" I just looked at him and he said "you don't believe me do you" I told him while trying unsuccessfully to hold back the tears I wish you would have done that for US. Ugh…. Why did I let that get to me, why did I let my emotions show. I don’t' want him back, I am better now so why did that hurt so bad.

I am being selfish, but I don't want to share my son with him and his new family. I don't want to have to let him go over there every other weekend and share holidays. I don't share well…. I know it is what is best for Carter and that he needs his Dad in his life and he was so excited to spend time with him. But damn it… I want him all to myself.