trying to move on

Why is it so hard for me to move on? Why have I sat at home all weekend and done nothing but think about Dave. I know he isn't good for me so why do I miss him so? I know I need to forgive him in order to move on. How do you forgive someone for ruining your life? Why am I over 8 months into this and still missing him and still trying to get over him. He obviously has moved on and gotten over me cause he has Lisa living with him. She is the one that was Carter's daycare teacher. I bet they get married within 6 months to a year.

I wanna be happy again. I know I have my son and he does make me happy, but I want someone to talk to and to tell them how my day was and for them to do the same. My best friend lives in GA and she is so busy with her husband, kids and being pregnant again she doesn't have the time to talk, plus I think she is getting tired of listening to me.

I don't feel like anyone understands....

I am trying to move one and I just can't get him out of my mind. Why do I miss someone who treated me so bad so much it hurts. Which was worse.... living with him and not trusting him or living with out him and being lonely? I really don't know anymore.

WHY??